Those slug bastards!
Soooooo... I'm winding down from a nice busy day of doing nothing much and want a nice little Mint Julip. The idea sticks in my head even though I'm low on Bourbon. So I say "Fuck It!" and go outside to grab some fresh mint out of my garden.
And LO and behold! There's a stinking slug on my pot holding said peppermint! I grab his slimy ass and slam it down onto the rocks in my gravel driveway. I decide (rather smartly, I must say) to wash my hands before picking my mint.
Good call on my part. I go to the bathroom and start washing my hands. There's a viscous goo that's not coming off with soap clinging to my fingers. I scrub like a motherfucker but nothing doing. It holds fast. Let me take a moment to describe this stuff:
It's crystal clear. About an eighth of an inch thick and there are these little bits of something in the goo. I can't pull it off, I can't rub it off, I can't scrub it off. It's clinging with the vengeance of a slug demon.
I get out the FAST ORANGE and it still doesn't come off! Now if you don't know what Fast Orange is, I bought it back when I used to change my own motor oil on my car. It's gritty and cuts through 10w30 like it's hardly there. But there's still this shit sticking to me.
Now I start freaking out a little bit. I don't know why, I just did. I was wondering if there was some exotic foreign slug that exudes flesh-eating bacteria or something. You know, like something some damn illegal Mexican would bring over.
But I grabbed some dry Kleenex and used that to wipe it off. Then I used the Fast Orange again and then lots of hot water and soap.
Then I ran outside with the flashlight, found the bastard's slimy corpse and found an empty planter plastic thing. Then I put it on top of the slug and stomped it until my foot hurt. Then I took THIS PICTURE!
Then I took these little plastic cups and put them into my garden. Then I filled them with beer to lure and drown these slimy shits before they can munch on my garden anymore. Good fucking riddance.
Acutally, I still feel queasy describing it. And I actually started this blog JUST to write about this disgusting episode. So there you have it.
And LO and behold! There's a stinking slug on my pot holding said peppermint! I grab his slimy ass and slam it down onto the rocks in my gravel driveway. I decide (rather smartly, I must say) to wash my hands before picking my mint.
Good call on my part. I go to the bathroom and start washing my hands. There's a viscous goo that's not coming off with soap clinging to my fingers. I scrub like a motherfucker but nothing doing. It holds fast. Let me take a moment to describe this stuff:
It's crystal clear. About an eighth of an inch thick and there are these little bits of something in the goo. I can't pull it off, I can't rub it off, I can't scrub it off. It's clinging with the vengeance of a slug demon.
I get out the FAST ORANGE and it still doesn't come off! Now if you don't know what Fast Orange is, I bought it back when I used to change my own motor oil on my car. It's gritty and cuts through 10w30 like it's hardly there. But there's still this shit sticking to me.
Now I start freaking out a little bit. I don't know why, I just did. I was wondering if there was some exotic foreign slug that exudes flesh-eating bacteria or something. You know, like something some damn illegal Mexican would bring over.
But I grabbed some dry Kleenex and used that to wipe it off. Then I used the Fast Orange again and then lots of hot water and soap.
Then I ran outside with the flashlight, found the bastard's slimy corpse and found an empty planter plastic thing. Then I put it on top of the slug and stomped it until my foot hurt. Then I took THIS PICTURE!
Then I took these little plastic cups and put them into my garden. Then I filled them with beer to lure and drown these slimy shits before they can munch on my garden anymore. Good fucking riddance.
Acutally, I still feel queasy describing it. And I actually started this blog JUST to write about this disgusting episode. So there you have it.
posted by mmaier2112 at 12:43 AM
3 Comments:
Yeah, I forgot about this one when I asked you to visit. I was really mad.
But at least I can post my other, nicer pictures.
use salt
also sprinkle it on the slug, he'll dissolve nicely
Please use "other" to leave comments so I can know who you is!
And I know about the salt, but I didn't want to do that near my garden. If I'm going to salt the earth, I have to burn it all first and I'd rather not do that next to my house!
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