Living Alone Will Be The Death Of Me...
When I first moved into my current residence, my ladder collapsed. Literally, the aluminum just folded and I bit HARD on my bedroom rug. It hurt. I lay there thinking, "Man, this HURTS!". And it did.
Luckily, nothing was broken.
I've had a few other mishaps too.
Like when I was on the phone with my brother Dave and my knee just twisted for NO REASON, literally moving the kneecap to the side of my leg. If you've never seen your kneecap on the side of your leg, count your blessings. I screamed like a little bitch and fell to the floor, losing the phone at the same time. I had to literally shove the kneecap back into place, wondering if THIS was the time it would be seriously and permanent damage. Luckily, it weren't.
Then like ten seconds ago, I was walking over to my desk with the PC on it and - being the klutz that I be - I rolled my ankle.
To keep from hurting myself (I guess that's my body's reason for its reaction) I fell to the floor. I missed smashing my chin on the desk by about an inch I reckon.
I figure some day my family will notice I've not been heard from for a week and my corpse will be rotting in the bathtub with two broken legs. Along with mice eating out my eyes and crotch (I hear they like the soft meat best).
Not a pretty picture, but oh well.
Such is the curse of us that don't have wenches handy.
Guess I have to go find one.
Luckily, nothing was broken.
I've had a few other mishaps too.
Like when I was on the phone with my brother Dave and my knee just twisted for NO REASON, literally moving the kneecap to the side of my leg. If you've never seen your kneecap on the side of your leg, count your blessings. I screamed like a little bitch and fell to the floor, losing the phone at the same time. I had to literally shove the kneecap back into place, wondering if THIS was the time it would be seriously and permanent damage. Luckily, it weren't.
Then like ten seconds ago, I was walking over to my desk with the PC on it and - being the klutz that I be - I rolled my ankle.
To keep from hurting myself (I guess that's my body's reason for its reaction) I fell to the floor. I missed smashing my chin on the desk by about an inch I reckon.
I figure some day my family will notice I've not been heard from for a week and my corpse will be rotting in the bathtub with two broken legs. Along with mice eating out my eyes and crotch (I hear they like the soft meat best).
Not a pretty picture, but oh well.
Such is the curse of us that don't have wenches handy.
Guess I have to go find one.
Labels: gross
posted by mmaier2112 at 11:44 PM
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