Have A Ton Of Disbelief On Hand And Need To Exhaust Your Supply?
Go see TRANSFORMERS!
BEWARE: SPOILERS AND A BAD ATTITUDE FOLLOW!!!
The Decepticons hack a government network in the middle of a heavily-armed desert base? Why not just put Soundwave into the building I work at? Or the Pentagon? Why AIR FORCE ONE? And why did Soundwave sound so stupid? He was more annoying than Jar-Jar!
A gorgeous blonde is the smartest asset the NSA has? And she's still inferior to a goofy black dude sitting in his grandma's house playing video games? HE is the best hacker in the world? And his home PC can do what NSA's computers can't?
A gorgeous brunette is an accomplished mechanic and car thief AND her dad's a convict and NO ONE IN SCHOOL KNOWS? And she's self-aware enough to know she's shallow about how she picks men? (That last one's the one that is just way too much!)
Megatron accidentally burns/etches a map onto a pair of spectacles while in a coma? Okay... And this map is visible from an ebay auction picture but completely unnoticed by the guy that owns them?
The ultra-secret government agency knows about the Grandfather but doesn't seize any and all relevant artifacts from the family? They kidnap folks, so obviously they don't worry about Constitutional restrictions...
A cube the size of an apartment building can fold down to the size of my desktop PC and be carried by a teenager?
The cube has the power to remake the ENTIRE PLANET but fizzles and dies after being used to kill Megatron? WTF?
That slide from the motorcycle? Come on! Ever hear of friction? It what would have ripped the clothes and flesh from that guy.
Megatron looks stupid in both forms. He looked as though he would dwarf Optimus Prime while in his coma, but is roughly the same size after waking up.
I was dead tired before watching it. I was yawning the whole way through. So I know I'm forgetting a good deal of my objections to this film.
What else? Oh yeah:
The directing SUCKS. The action is WAY too hurried and fills up too much of the screen. The Transformers shouldn't move like they do. They should be bulkier and heavier moving.
The dialogue is painfully bad in parts.
And lastly: John Voigt is in it. At least they spared us his daughter.
I really expected nothing from this movie. And MAN did it ever deliver! Usually when I have zero expectations, I enjoy myself. This one just hurt to watch it.
The worst part is I have to watch it again since I promised to take my niece to see it.
Man, if I ever want to indulge in 80's nostalgia, I'll just go pop in the 1986 Transformers: The Movie. The writing and storyline are actually better in a 20 year old cartoon movie than on this $150 MILLION P.O.S.
BEWARE: SPOILERS AND A BAD ATTITUDE FOLLOW!!!
The Decepticons hack a government network in the middle of a heavily-armed desert base? Why not just put Soundwave into the building I work at? Or the Pentagon? Why AIR FORCE ONE? And why did Soundwave sound so stupid? He was more annoying than Jar-Jar!
A gorgeous blonde is the smartest asset the NSA has? And she's still inferior to a goofy black dude sitting in his grandma's house playing video games? HE is the best hacker in the world? And his home PC can do what NSA's computers can't?
A gorgeous brunette is an accomplished mechanic and car thief AND her dad's a convict and NO ONE IN SCHOOL KNOWS? And she's self-aware enough to know she's shallow about how she picks men? (That last one's the one that is just way too much!)
Megatron accidentally burns/etches a map onto a pair of spectacles while in a coma? Okay... And this map is visible from an ebay auction picture but completely unnoticed by the guy that owns them?
The ultra-secret government agency knows about the Grandfather but doesn't seize any and all relevant artifacts from the family? They kidnap folks, so obviously they don't worry about Constitutional restrictions...
A cube the size of an apartment building can fold down to the size of my desktop PC and be carried by a teenager?
The cube has the power to remake the ENTIRE PLANET but fizzles and dies after being used to kill Megatron? WTF?
That slide from the motorcycle? Come on! Ever hear of friction? It what would have ripped the clothes and flesh from that guy.
Megatron looks stupid in both forms. He looked as though he would dwarf Optimus Prime while in his coma, but is roughly the same size after waking up.
I was dead tired before watching it. I was yawning the whole way through. So I know I'm forgetting a good deal of my objections to this film.
What else? Oh yeah:
The directing SUCKS. The action is WAY too hurried and fills up too much of the screen. The Transformers shouldn't move like they do. They should be bulkier and heavier moving.
The dialogue is painfully bad in parts.
And lastly: John Voigt is in it. At least they spared us his daughter.
I really expected nothing from this movie. And MAN did it ever deliver! Usually when I have zero expectations, I enjoy myself. This one just hurt to watch it.
The worst part is I have to watch it again since I promised to take my niece to see it.
Man, if I ever want to indulge in 80's nostalgia, I'll just go pop in the 1986 Transformers: The Movie. The writing and storyline are actually better in a 20 year old cartoon movie than on this $150 MILLION P.O.S.
Labels: movies
posted by mmaier2112 at 1:01 PM
5 Comments:
It wasn't suppose to be the BEST written movie ever and never claimed to be...it was suppose to be FUN!
Sorry you didn't enjoy your time watching this fantastic movie.
Me too!
Dude... it's a MOVIE. A movie... about GIANT, EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL ROBOTS... which transform into cars and planes and stuff. A movie... based on a CARTOON. A cartoon... based on a line of TOYS.
When you first saw Star Wars Episode IV, did you point out that swords with blades made of light would never work, and an exploding space station wouldn't blow up in such a spectacular manner, and wouldn't make any noise besides?
Oh, and NO WAY could some teenaged kid fresh off a moisture farm, hurtling down a narrow trench at thousands of miles per hour, score a direct hit on a small thermal exhaust port only two meters wide, without even using his targeting computer- even if he DID used to bullseye womp-rats in his T-16 back home... ;-)
I can turn my brain off and just enjoy a movie when it's a good movie. I have to do it all the time because Hollywood couldn't make an intelligent film if the world's existence depended on it.
I love the Spider-Man films even though I could rip them quite thoroughly. But I don't cuz they're fun.
I am glad you liked it a little better the second time around..Because if not then I would have had my truck transform and fuckinmg killl you..lol
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