More Stupidity...

Derek: So, I just got my handwriting analyzed and apparently I'm going to be a serial killer.
Random Girl: Hah, uh...cool...
Derek: Yeah, I mean I guess it's better than being some things, like a serial killee?


Mike: ...Besides, babe, you're extremely hot.
Erin: I knew you only liked me for my body.
Mike: That's a lie, I love you for your money, too.
Erin: Right.
Mike: You're like an ATM with a really great rack.


Jace: I want the chicken nuggets
McDonald's Worker: How would you like your nuggets?
Jace: ...Umm.....in a bag.


"You know, being stoned would be the perfect time to have a slave."
-Troy, feeling abnormally lazy


Blair: I'm older than you so everything I do has greater significance.
Kate: ...Yeah? Well I have tits.


Joe: I can't find the right hole.
Mario: That's what she said!!
Joe: Actually, that is what she said...


Billy: It smells like sex in here.
Jack: But I just washed my hands!


(Talking after Jon walked out of his room with an erection at 3am to get the pizza he ordered)
Winston: Can you imagine being that pizza guy and someone answers the door with a boner?
Nick: I answer the door like that all the time, but...I just love pizza.


Chris: Did I miss anything?
Rob: Just the strippers and cheeseburgers.
Chris: There were cheeseburgers?


Emily: ESB is my new favorite beer, it has my initials!
Dan: What, Easy Stupid Bitch?
Emily: I may be easy but you are the one that has trouble staying hard!
Dan: We were on our third round!
Emily: Well if you had done it right the first time you wouldn't have had to try again.
Dan: Easy Stupid Bitch...


Jake: Dude they got different flavored popcorn salt now. Check this out, it's jalapeno-flavored popcorn salt!
Chris: This stuff smells go-- OH FUCK!


"The hot dogs?! You threw them away? But that's like throwing away food!!"
-Shauna, on the other use of hot dogs?
(Lips and hooves, right? -- Mike)


This is disturbing:
Erin: It was so weird...I was sitting there talking to you and I thought you were just listening with your eyes closed since you were still drinking your beer... then I noticed you were sleeping.
Mike: I was sleeping and drinking at the same time?
Erin: Yeah!!
Mike: That can't be a good sign.


This too:
"Someone come hold me up so I can take another shot!"
-Lazza, on the floor hugging the garbage, still trying to reach the tequila


and my favorite:
"I don't understand why women say it is so hard to orgasm. If someone told me there was a special tooth in my mouth that if I pressed it could make me orgasm, I would be sitting there, poking around my mouth until I fucking found it."
-Trevor, on the mystery of the O


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