SPOILERS GALORE re: Indiana Jones IV
Okay, I wrote this before seeing it the second time. I had to see it a second time cuz I took my Mom to see it last night.
Again: SPOILER ALERT!
For starters I very nearly completely agree with this review of Indy IV. Open this and scroll down to comment #8:
http://www.libertyfilmfestival.com/libertas/?p=10537
Things I like about the film:
1) Shai Lebeuf (I can't care if I'm spelling that right). I thought he played his awfully-written part as well as could be expected. I saw him as a nerdy kid trying to act tougher than he really is.
2) The wrap-up, especially the part with the hat.
There are things that are just GOD-awful about this film. The afore-mentioned motorcycle chase is the LEAST of my criticisms.
1) The nuke-blast refrigerator thing... the less said, the better.
2) The repeated instances of "five guys shooting full auto cannot even NICK someone 20 feet away" thing...
3) "Old Man" Indy kicking the arses of four young Russian soldiers (I thought they were going to play up Indy being too old for this stuff?)...
4) Marion Ravenwood looking high or retarded for most of the film...
5) Shai Lebeuf's Tarzan vine-swinging...
6) The fact that apparently there are tens-of-miles and perfectly-leveled albeit unpaved roads through the Amazonian rain forests...
7) The "ET" ending, especially the part when the traitor guy says "I'll be okay?" WTF?
8) The "anti-Communism is BAD" thing... Okay, I didn't live through it, but it is historical FACT that the Russians DID penetrate our government at all levels during the Cold War. Hell! Most likely FDR was fully complicit in helping their agents. He was a fucking communist bastard himself without the courage of his convictions.
Hollywood needs to beat this into their own skulls for a few decades: McCARTHY WAS RIGHT! Whining about blacklists 60 years later is pathetic. McCarthy's only failing was not going far enough.
Hollywood loves to cry about "ruined careers" completely ignoring the simple fact that Communists offer over 100 million souls in the 20th Century. Opposition to their idiotic, blood-drenched collectivism is no fucking vice.
and finally...
9) The complete lack of both dramatic tension and decent dialog. Not one well-turned phrase or impressive dialog delivery. Not one moment of caring what happens to anyone on screen. And that's the worst part. If I watch any movie, I should feel some sort of emotional attachment to at least some of the characters. I should at least have an opinion of whether they live or die.
Not caring if I am correct, I will blame ALL of this on George Lucas' involvement. He sucks. Star Wars was a fluke. The best things he's turned out in the last 25 years since Return of the Jedi are some bad-ass video games and the Darth Maul duel in Episode I. That's it. Everything else he's touched is total shit. (Dang it... I liked Indy III...okay one exception. Dang it... I liked "Order 66" and "Master Anakin, what do we do?" too.)
I cannot fathom why Speilberg or Harrison Ford signed onto this piece of shit. It has a complete lack of heart. Which you cannot say about any of the other three Indy films.
I really tried to like this movie. I heard about someone else's negative assessment and owned it, figuring "okay I have no expectations of this movie being good. So if it's any good, I'll be happily surprised". I wasn't.
But in the spirit of trying to look on the bright side, here are a few ideas I would have had for Indy IV if I were given that script as a starting point and had to dissect it.
1) Delay Marion showing up and postpone the revelation of Shai's character being Indy's son til further towards the end. Have Indy really not like the kid at first but begrudgingly bond with him, take him under his wing a little, then have his attitude turn around 180 in a much more dramatic fashion when the "shocker" hits. This sets up a more interesting interplay with father & son like Indy III.
2) Rewrite Marion's character. She doesn't seem anything remotely like she did in Raiders. Maybe make her far too proper and prissy at first from being too settled into domesticity. Then have her resist her tomboyish ways until she just plunges into the action when really needed (maybe really taking the enemy by surprise!). Grabbing a log and beaning someone in the head would be appropriate. Give her her spunk back!
3) Heck... make INDY too domesticated at first. Ditch the whole Cold War Bad Ass Warrior thing and make him much more settled into university life. Then he gripes about having to grind it out before he realizes, yes, he has to get his hands dirty again. And at first enjoys himself while doing it but suffers physically for doing so. Reprising the boat scene in Raiders would have been good. He could say "A lot more years, a lot more mileage..." before nailing Marion again.
4) Ditch most of the CGI and make the film seem SMALLER. Both The X-Files Movie and the Firefly movie Serenity made the scale bigger and consequently made their characters seem smaller in comparison to their TV counterparts. Indy IV's CGI sweeping landscape nonsense does the same thing. Tighten up more of the shots and the action seems more immediate. It's film so it's already bigger on the movie screen. Making expansive shots all the time just makes the space seem more empty to me. Especially when the CGI looks as B-grade as Indy IV does at times.
5) Let Shai Lebeuf keep the hat at the end. Indy grab it and lifts it off Shai's head... but realizes he really isn't cut out for this stuff any more and passes to the torch on.
6) Shoot George Lucas. Or at least forbid him from ever doing anything resembling writing again. He doesn't get actors. He doesn't get dialogue and he doesn't get the direction of actors. So why should he be allowed to do anything involving actors whatsoever? It's just a recipe for disaster.
My brother Jason pegged it: "It's a cartoon version of Indiana Jones."
Not at all a fitting ending for the Indiana Jones saga. Save your money. Go see something else.
Again: SPOILER ALERT!
For starters I very nearly completely agree with this review of Indy IV. Open this and scroll down to comment #8:
http://www.libertyfilmfestival.com/libertas/?p=10537
Things I like about the film:
1) Shai Lebeuf (I can't care if I'm spelling that right). I thought he played his awfully-written part as well as could be expected. I saw him as a nerdy kid trying to act tougher than he really is.
2) The wrap-up, especially the part with the hat.
There are things that are just GOD-awful about this film. The afore-mentioned motorcycle chase is the LEAST of my criticisms.
1) The nuke-blast refrigerator thing... the less said, the better.
2) The repeated instances of "five guys shooting full auto cannot even NICK someone 20 feet away" thing...
3) "Old Man" Indy kicking the arses of four young Russian soldiers (I thought they were going to play up Indy being too old for this stuff?)...
4) Marion Ravenwood looking high or retarded for most of the film...
5) Shai Lebeuf's Tarzan vine-swinging...
6) The fact that apparently there are tens-of-miles and perfectly-leveled albeit unpaved roads through the Amazonian rain forests...
7) The "ET" ending, especially the part when the traitor guy says "I'll be okay?" WTF?
8) The "anti-Communism is BAD" thing... Okay, I didn't live through it, but it is historical FACT that the Russians DID penetrate our government at all levels during the Cold War. Hell! Most likely FDR was fully complicit in helping their agents. He was a fucking communist bastard himself without the courage of his convictions.
Hollywood needs to beat this into their own skulls for a few decades: McCARTHY WAS RIGHT! Whining about blacklists 60 years later is pathetic. McCarthy's only failing was not going far enough.
Hollywood loves to cry about "ruined careers" completely ignoring the simple fact that Communists offer over 100 million souls in the 20th Century. Opposition to their idiotic, blood-drenched collectivism is no fucking vice.
and finally...
9) The complete lack of both dramatic tension and decent dialog. Not one well-turned phrase or impressive dialog delivery. Not one moment of caring what happens to anyone on screen. And that's the worst part. If I watch any movie, I should feel some sort of emotional attachment to at least some of the characters. I should at least have an opinion of whether they live or die.
Not caring if I am correct, I will blame ALL of this on George Lucas' involvement. He sucks. Star Wars was a fluke. The best things he's turned out in the last 25 years since Return of the Jedi are some bad-ass video games and the Darth Maul duel in Episode I. That's it. Everything else he's touched is total shit. (Dang it... I liked Indy III...okay one exception. Dang it... I liked "Order 66" and "Master Anakin, what do we do?" too.)
I cannot fathom why Speilberg or Harrison Ford signed onto this piece of shit. It has a complete lack of heart. Which you cannot say about any of the other three Indy films.
I really tried to like this movie. I heard about someone else's negative assessment and owned it, figuring "okay I have no expectations of this movie being good. So if it's any good, I'll be happily surprised". I wasn't.
But in the spirit of trying to look on the bright side, here are a few ideas I would have had for Indy IV if I were given that script as a starting point and had to dissect it.
1) Delay Marion showing up and postpone the revelation of Shai's character being Indy's son til further towards the end. Have Indy really not like the kid at first but begrudgingly bond with him, take him under his wing a little, then have his attitude turn around 180 in a much more dramatic fashion when the "shocker" hits. This sets up a more interesting interplay with father & son like Indy III.
2) Rewrite Marion's character. She doesn't seem anything remotely like she did in Raiders. Maybe make her far too proper and prissy at first from being too settled into domesticity. Then have her resist her tomboyish ways until she just plunges into the action when really needed (maybe really taking the enemy by surprise!). Grabbing a log and beaning someone in the head would be appropriate. Give her her spunk back!
3) Heck... make INDY too domesticated at first. Ditch the whole Cold War Bad Ass Warrior thing and make him much more settled into university life. Then he gripes about having to grind it out before he realizes, yes, he has to get his hands dirty again. And at first enjoys himself while doing it but suffers physically for doing so. Reprising the boat scene in Raiders would have been good. He could say "A lot more years, a lot more mileage..." before nailing Marion again.
4) Ditch most of the CGI and make the film seem SMALLER. Both The X-Files Movie and the Firefly movie Serenity made the scale bigger and consequently made their characters seem smaller in comparison to their TV counterparts. Indy IV's CGI sweeping landscape nonsense does the same thing. Tighten up more of the shots and the action seems more immediate. It's film so it's already bigger on the movie screen. Making expansive shots all the time just makes the space seem more empty to me. Especially when the CGI looks as B-grade as Indy IV does at times.
5) Let Shai Lebeuf keep the hat at the end. Indy grab it and lifts it off Shai's head... but realizes he really isn't cut out for this stuff any more and passes to the torch on.
6) Shoot George Lucas. Or at least forbid him from ever doing anything resembling writing again. He doesn't get actors. He doesn't get dialogue and he doesn't get the direction of actors. So why should he be allowed to do anything involving actors whatsoever? It's just a recipe for disaster.
My brother Jason pegged it: "It's a cartoon version of Indiana Jones."
Not at all a fitting ending for the Indiana Jones saga. Save your money. Go see something else.
Labels: movies
posted by mmaier2112 at 8:29 PM
3 Comments:
Even though I haven't seen the movie the Indy franchise was wearing thin by Crusade, same goes for the Star Wars franchise, Return of the Jedi was by far the weakest of the movies, good, but still weak. I probably won't see the new Indy movies just because I know it will suck, I learned my lesson after Episode I.
I liked "The Last Crusade". I thought the interplay with Ford & Connery was well-written and acted.
My biggest gripe about that film is that they inexplicably made Marcus into a moron.
I agree..with your post!!!
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