THIS Stuff Is Why YOU Should Read "The Sports Guy"

"So ... yeah. I manage a bar in Boston, and after the worst Boston sports moment since 2003, the phone began to ring ... a total of 11 calls came in from random people in New York, 411-ing bars in Boston to heckle us. One of the bartenders is from Chicago, and she was completely perplexed. I simply explained, "This is why we hate New York so much." She nodded and said, "Now I see." I don't care how awful Boston sports fans can be, have any of us ever 411-ed New York bars? No, we simply roll cars with New York plates onto their roofs.
-- Matt B., Boston

ME: Or smash the windshields of cars with INDIANA license plates... even though they have Pats stickers in the windows... dipshits.

From The Sports Guy Mailbag column HERE.

More:

"You didn't jinx the Pats two weeks ago or in November. I just saw the last half hour of "The Karate Kid" and realized you completely hosed them with the first time you made Cobra Kai Yankees reference. Didn't you remember that Cobra Kai, while seemingly invincible, LOST in the end and their leader (John Kreese) turned on them after it was over (and was humiliated by Mr. Miyagi). Now I'm terrified of this offseason. YOU DID THIS! Now I have to hate the Giants, Daniel and YOU! With one reference you killed the Patriots' season, a good movie and possibly this offseason. Thanks. Please don't write anything about KG.
-- Mike M., Fort Worth, Texas"

(You're the BEST... AROUND!!! Nobody's ever gonnna keep ya down... You're the BEST! AROUND!!!) Full lyrics HERE. Man, I so thank God that Al Gore invented the Internet!

Anyway, go read the whole thing. If you hate the Pats and Simmons, it's still a fun read.