I Cannot Argue

I would be a motorboating son of a bitch!

Brrrrrbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!!!!!!!!!!

As Mike Turns To The Straight Gin...

UPDATE: This blogging MASTERPIECE gets not a single fucking comment??? WTF?

We're down 5-1 in the third.

Shit.

UPDATE:
Now, just cuz the game is pissing me off, I turned on every single light in the house to counter the stupid "energy conservation" bullshit they're lecturing me on. Fuck 'em.

UPDATE: 7-1. Fuck it. I'm just downing a shot every time TB scores. I'll probably be dead by the end of the game the way the fucking Sox are playing.

UPDATE: Runner walked into home. 8-1. Can you pickle your liver in one evening?

UPDATE: Blooper drops. 9-1. Shit. I wonder if I can actually make it through this game without passing out? I wanted to play Halo 3 after...

UPDATE: 10-1. I think I made a serious mistake deciding to do this. Should make Halo very interesting. I have to plug in my headset so I can scream drunken vulgarities.

Inter-TB-scoring update: I haven't binge drank for a very long time. Actually, the last time was some 17 months ago (yup, THAT time...). My guts are on fire. The likelihood of my getting to work tomorrow is plummeting somewhat dangerously.

UPDATE: MOTHER FUCKER! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE? GET A MOTHER FUCKING FAGGOT RAY OUT ALREADY! I'M GOING TO DIE OF ALCOHOL POISONING CUZ OF THE FUCKING RED SOX FUCKING DEFENSE! 11-1, BTW.

"A Boston Massacre" says the TBS Annoucnner asshole fuckhead. YA FUCKING THING?

sHIT.

I can't even finish this 11 score shot. It's just sitting there... taunting me. I shouldn't drink it. I don't wanna puke in my living room.

Come on, Sox. Fucking do something. Pull off the miracle already...

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/eticket/story?page=manny

You know, Manny is a stupid fuckhead. What dkind of moron hires a dude that has an incentive to not work with the management?

Fuck. Inning over. I think it was the 7th... nope. Only the fucking 6th.

I really didn't intend to have advaneures of Durken Blogger tonight. What a shitty evening.

And yes, I am fully aware of my misspellings. Firefox poins them out for me and I'm sort of liking how it does so.
Fuck

Hewy Jason! W@hat does this remind you of?

mIKE: "Fuck!" (runs away) (SPLASH!)

wHY IS STHERE A MOSQUITO IN MY HOSUE? FUCKING MOSTQ2UITOS.

Fuck it. I'm not fixing my typos. It's honesty in blogging.

I can only imagine what it's like to read this blog entry. I would guess it is wsort of like watching a car wreck. You know what's oing to bhappne, but you can't do anything about it.

UPDATE: *(10:14) If I see the Sox pitchers shien the shoes of the TB cocksuckers one more fucking time... I'm going outside and killing a cat with my .45.

UPDATE: 10:17 Big Papi just tripled. FUCK YEAH!!! Okay, I am retoractively giving meself one VOMIT CREDIT for every point the Sox score. I already used the Ortiz score puke poitn.

BY THE WAY! I want to bitch about the stupid announcers saying "the bigger strke szone is okay" in game 3. Fuck that. That' is all.

Aslo, I shoudl ttotally have a wife. She could sitdrctact me with blowljobs to ease my mood.

Fuck. 12-2. BRB.

13-2. I stuck with it. Drikning two shots in like two minutes. oh boy

At least Gordons Gin is cheap. I can drink it and puke uit up without feeling too bad about wasting too much dough.

I think I'm making a mockery of the idea of "drinking responsibly".

What the fuck? All of a sudden, I'm typing like a hot red-headed secreatry . Okay, maye not .

HEY!!! FENWAY IS STEALING JASON'S WEDDING THEME SONG! SEWWEETT CAROLINE........... DUN-DUN-DUNNNNNNNNNN

I am SO very much saing this theread for my kids to show the evils aof the driknign.

Shit. Spilled half my shot.

But we just scored so I have two PUKE CRDITS. So I guess I won't feel obligated to drink another half shot.

Wierd how well I can type while trashed drunk.

mAN THE band Boston rocks. The guitarist has such badass tone! I'm gonna put that CD in my PC right now and crank it while I watch the rest of this shitty game.

Shit. My PC speakers are n't nearly as loud as I want. But I guess I'm stuck until after the game.

whaoooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!! Now I have 3 puke curedits.

UPDATE: end of the 8th. 9 point deficit, one inning. No problem.

And in the midst of my masterpiece, Blogger starts fucking up. Figures.

FUCK A DONKE3Y. 3 TO 1 LEAD FOR THE FUCKING FAGGOT TAMPA BAY FUCKHEADS.

One last to the b4im shot and then I be done. Work tomorrow be ducking dmang.ed.

.
Okay. I'm done for now. going to Halo 3. See you lunatics later.

Well after Blogger went psycho and wouldn't let me post... here I am signing off for the night.

AFter missing the toilet rather egregiously with mobth urine and vomit, I think I might have to avoid drinking for a while.

[DELETED]

[DELETED]
(AODB Factor: ... about 6/10)

EDIT: Yeah... I forgot I wrote this...

BTW: AODB = Adventures of Drunken Blogger

A hard day at work + 94 proof Bourbon = revealing a little too much on this post.

Sorry. Hope it amused at least.

Better Question: WHO FUCKING CARES?

http://www.slate.com/id/2167292/nav/tap1/

"Beer in the HeadlightsSales are flat. Wine is ascendant. How did this happen?"

For me: Wine is for eating with meals. Red for red sauce pasta or steaks. Whites for chicken, pork, fish and non-red pasta sauces.

Beer is for everything else. Hot dogs, BRATS!, a ham samich, what have ya.

I don't know about you, but I don't open a bottle of wine just to drink it. Wine compliments a meal, that's all it's for. And it's great for that.

But I'll drink a beer just for the taste, without a meal. Before a meal. After a meal. Whatever.

Am I weird? (Well, I know the answer to that, but... ahhh, hell. nevermind)

(The better question is WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING BLOGGING WHEN I HAVE TO BE AT WORK IN LESS THAN SIX HOURS?)

Anyway, maybe alkies are just covering up their drunken addictions with snobbery? That sounds more likely than anything, but - FUCK! - I'm drunk!

Guys!

In high school, would you have done her?

Everyone that answered "No", go check yourself into hetero rehab NOW.

I would have slit someone's throat to do a bitch that hot back then.

Now? I'd push a hobo into some mud. But back then? Hell, I'd've re-enacted Columbine for that. And it hadn't even happened yet!

(This is drunken blogging again, BTW.)

More Drunken Blogging...

Ahhhh... forget it.

The Continuing Adventures of DRUNKEN BLOGGER!

A reprise of drunken blogging by ME, The Lingual Biologist!

Man, last time I drunken blogged was so much fun, I thought I'd do so again!!

So here I sit, all drunken and blogging. Thinking about doing naughty things to various females of my acquaintance (and future aquaintance as well, heh-heh-heh....)

But nothing worthy of bloggering comes to mind... Oh well. I suppose I can just go pass out and rest up for tomorrow at my stupid job of which I've become sick.

WAIT! I just thought of an ever-worthy subject!

SHANE IS WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(By the way, this is ALL Jason's fault....)

The NEW Adventures Of Drunken Blogger!

Should one blog whilst drunk? If one asks Nate, the Hot Poker Gargler, the answer is a resounding YES! Of course, how one says YES with a hot poker down his throat is beyond me.

Methinks me shouldeth not bloggeth whilst drunken on Sailor Jerry's Spiced Rum (highly recommended, BTW!!) and Caffeine Free Coca-Cola. But here I am. Blogging whislt, er... whilst drunk. I think I poured too much rum into my glow in the dark Hardees cup. (I also really need to wash dishes.)

Wait! I need to watch the rest of tonight's Scrubs episodes. I'll be back later.

G'Night!