Political Debates WORTH Watching!

My Sentiments Exactly

Lucie: It's totally weird that Old Spice uses Doogie Howser in those new commercials.
Nate: Why? Because he came out?
Lucie: Yeah!
Nate: Why should that matter?
Lucie: Old Spice is the deodorant for straight guys!
Nate: Huh? Then what the fuck deodorant is the deodorant for gay guys?
Maria: Secret?
-On essential coverups

http://www.pointsincase.com/quotes

Next thing you know, Bruce Campbell will come out. I think the world just might end if that happens. He's my hero.

more goodness:

"I'm not like those other guys.... I respect you bitches!
-Cricket, almost nailing the pick-up line


Cody: So yeah, ET scared the shit out of me, with him all runnin' around and that stupid glowing probe finger.
Dime: When I saw Jaws it scared me. I was afraid to walk down the alley by my house 'cause I thought the shark was going to jump on me.
Cody: Ain't you from Illinois?
Dime: Yeah.
Cody: That's officially the dumbest fucking thing I have ever heard.
-Breaking new ground on stupid fears

Cuz it would make a difference if he was scared of sharks in the alleys of Miami?
Moving on...

Aunt Julie: Darlene, it's okay that your daughter is a lesbian. She's still your daughter, and you'll always have to love her for who she is.
Aunt Joan: I know it's hard to accept right now, and it's going to take some time, but she'll always be Larissa.
Uncle Scott: And just think, she doesn't need condoms. She needs a bib.
-An awkward coming out with the family


K Si: If you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?
Mikey: Midget porn!
Joe K: Amputee strippers!!
TK: Retards!!!
-Not getting the whole "rhetorical thing"

I can so very much see this one happening:
Documentary Narrator: ...and these conjoined twins have lived together for 4 decades.
Frank: What happens when one dies before the other?
Wendy: South Park happens.
-On timely follow-ups

Phil: I'm so sick and tired of people not understanding what I'm talking about!
Manny: What do you mean?
-Walking in at the wrong time

I want to say something for this next one, but I'm drawing a major blank.

Jon: Steve works here right?
Frank: Yeah, but how the hell are we going to find him in a supermarket this huge? Wait, Steve's quarter Jew right?
Jon: Yeah.
Frank: So we drop a penny on the ground, wait for 4 times as long as a normal Jew, and Steve will show up.
-On the law of attraction

Damn Hippies!

I'm guessing that was the mentality of the cops at THIS little party.

I have a few problems with this.

"St. Paul Police spokesman Tom Walsh said they were executing a search warrant.

"The cause for the search warrant is not public at this time," Walsh said."

The cause for warrants doesn't have to be ON the warrant? This is a fact of law of which I was unaware. I would have guessed that would sort of need to be on there. Silly me.

But this is nothing more than a scare tactic by our authoritarian thugs in action to stifle dissent. Pathetic. Simply pathetic.

Our "leaders" should be able to withstand any non-violent criticism in action. They work for all of us, whether we like it or not. Sending the goon squads to scare off potential protests is reminiscent of Nazi Germany.

And looking at the way the cops acted at the Democratic Convention, it seems neither side is interested in any criticism.

We're long overdue for a revolution in this country.

MORE on this topic.

I Get It Now!

For some reason, this stupid song popped into my head. For unintentional comedy, it's pretty high up on the list.



And I just had a revelation! Stacy Keach, Whitney, Ahhhh-nulld... they were all serving secret community service sentences! I bet all the other "stars" were too. They can't hide the truth forever!

No? Maybe I am too cynical.

Derb Rocks...

From HERE.

One hardly knows where to start with this gibberish. With eliminating evil, perhaps.

Warren: How about the issue of evil? … Does evil exist and if so, should we ignore it, negotiate with it, contain it or defeat it?

McCain: Defeat it. … Of course evil must be defeated …

Warren didn’t raise a peep. This is a Christian church? Hasn’t anybody present heard of original sin? The only way to eliminate evil is to eliminate the human race. I wouldn’t rule out the possibility that McCain’s policies will have that result, but if it’s the result he intends, he ought to tell us.

Yeah... that would be nice.

More Derb goodness from HERE.

Every age has its characteristic follies, and those follies have their correctives. The folly of the present age in America is a facile, infantile optimism, that recognizes no limits to human abilities or the wonders that can be wrought by politicians, bureaucrats, and generals. The corrective is a firm, measured pessimism.

Amen. If the government could really fix things, we wouldn't have poor people in this country anymore. We've spent TRILLIONS on this nonsense. It's way past time to stop the madness... stop the madness NOW! (Sorry, 80's flashbacks...)

Everyone that says "the government should do it" is just a waste of oxygen. Government makes us less free. Every damn time it enters the equation. The sooner the world learns that very simple fact, the better off we'll all be.

Luckily, I know the perfect solution: more mint julep.

I Was On This Plane This Past Weekend...

...sitting beside this girl. Cute, auburn hair in a tight bun. Tight t-shirt. Big tits.

She suddenly sneezed something fierce, then took out a tissue and wiped her nose. Then her whole body shuddered for like fifteen seconds.

I thought "weird" but went back to reading my book.

A few minutes later, she sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shook again. A little longer this time.

A few more minutes and she sneezed again. She took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more. Then she shifted her thighs back and forth a few times.

I finally turned to the woman and said, 'I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. 'Are you okay?'

Quickly she said 'Sorry, don't worry, I'm not sick.' She blushed something crazy. 'I... I have a... condition...' Her voice got really low as she said 'whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm.'

I was shocked and stammered a bit 'I, I, I, I, Iiiiiiiiii... never heard of that. What do you take for that?'

The woman nodded. 'Pepper'

Condemned By Their Own Words

Nancy Pelosi and liberal douchebaggery at its best:

http://www.lewrockwell.com/blog/lewrw/archives/022488.html
"The clueless MSM have missed this point for two years and allowed the Democrats to trade blood for the White House."

I have admittedly never thought of that, but then again I'm not exactly a Congresscritter, am I?

But for all of their bleeding heart bullshit, the douchebag Democrats haven't really opposed Jorge Bush's wars. They simply lack the courage to do what is necessary because they think it might cost them politically.

Typical.

On another political topic: Bob Barr (the "Libertarian" candidate... uggghhhhh) sued to be included in the debates last week and was turned aside. He's the Libertarian Party candidate but I really think he doesn't know what the hell that is supposed to mean. I'm still stunned such an ass got the spot. I have no idea what idiot thought he had libertarian (small "L") principles.

Pathetic. Just pathetic.

Just to lighten the mood:
http://www.lewrockwell.com/blog/lewrw/archives/022468.html

Now THAT Takes Talent!

Colour Me Surprised

http://www.smallgovernmentact.org/

A well-run anti-tax movement in Taxachusetts? Whouda thunk?

Kevin Bacon Is So Cool...

Proof Positive!

THIS story proves three things.

1 - There simply is no justice in this world.
2 - As Vox likes to say: Women aren't real adults in this country.
3 - Some folks just really, really, really need killing.

Murder for profit! If you have tits, it's okay!

Question Everything You "Know"

"Charles Ponzi spent fourteen years in jail for doing what Social Security has been doing for over seventy years. It was obviously an unsound, fraudulent, scheme that Ponzi devised, but it’s baseball and apple pie when Uncle Sam does it. The victims are cheated just as thoroughly, but with one difference: Ponzi’s victims entered his scheme willingly, if ignorantly, whereas the victims of the Social Security scheme are strongly pressured into "joining." Which scheme is the more dishonest?"

From HERE.

No, This Is NOT From The Onion:

Groom Arrested for Getting Too Close to Bride at Wedding

"Timothy Cole quarreled with a wedding guest at a party Friday after wedding his ex-wife in Batavia, police said.

Officers knew the 45-year-old Cole from previous arrests and realized his bride had an order of protection against him. Cole was charged with first-degree criminal contempt, a felony, and ordered jailed without bail.

Cole was convicted of criminal contempt on July 1, the Daily News in Batavia reported."

Wow. You might think the restraining order might be something they'd remember.

On one hand, I'm thinking this is the police state run amok bereft of common sense. And of course it is.

But I'm also thinking this guy deserves to go to jail for remarrying a woman that took a restraining order out on him.

"The Only Reason Obama Won't Be Elected Is Racism!"

If you believe the above, please go off yourself immediately. You're wasting oxygen that could be more usefully consumed by the slime-ridden vermin of the Earth.

You are, very simply, just too fucking stupid to live.

That is all.

(Yes, these zombie-like idiots do exist in real life.)

An Important Way To View The Power Of US!

The citizens, that is.

HERE.

How Completely Pathetic.

http://bullstuff.blogspot.com/2008/07/from-inbox.html

PC Bullshit really does rule the world.

Sort of related note:
http://primemover74.blogspot.com/2008/08/interesting-little-diddy.html

WHAT THE HAIL!

In AUGUST?

Sounds like the end of the world out there.

Too weird.

Maybe it'll rain frogs next and they'll all freeze to death.

OUCH!

"My ex and I split everything up evenly. She got the inside of our house, and I got the outside." --- jer_the_bear from over at Vox's joint.

A Skewering Well-Deserved.

http://www.geekson.com/audio/Star_Wars_Ep_3.mp3

http://www.the-editing-room.com/swnewhope.html

Okay, THAT Was Weird...

I'm sitting here in front of my computer monitor, reading goofy crap.

My house starts vibrating. In such an intense manner that I'm certain a 747 is about to crash into it or something.

The vibrations get louder and louder and then I hear a car drive by. The vibration lessens as the car gets further away. So I'm guess that's what it was.

But I didn't HEAR anything.

Why the hell is a subwoofer putting out inaudible sounds? What's the point? To see how far you can drive before you vibrate your car into pieces?

Unrelated Goofy and Funny crap HERE.

Two Reasons To Love Food Network

It gets better towards the end.

"Fruit is the best desert." Yeah, I have a hankering for melons myself.

I actually like her show and her recipes. But I must admit that those reasons are really distracting. Ever since I noticed how much those reasons are used, I have had a lot of trouble watching the actual COOKING.

Reminds me of how I felt when I realized Hooters uses the orange bottoms to MAKE me stare at the waitresses' asses. Just... used and dirty. But in a good way.

Shane's Puppy Is Too Adorable...

... to be owned by him.

A real shame. Shane is such a mean, mean, mean owner.

But he does have a completely adorable itty-bitty puppy.

I kept giggling like an idiot watching this tiny little thing running about like some animal. He's a trip to watch.

So yeah, I like Snoopy. Even if he did hump my leg. (He's so small I didn't even feel it happening through my jeans.)

More Retarded Humour

Cheating Wife - Watch more funny videos here

Why Mark's Idea Won't Work...

You don't marry the LBFM's and move back here. It's just a really bad idea. A selfish whore just isn't always that evident, especially when you change their environs. Much better to suck it up, do the digging and get a good girl that's already acclimated to this culture.

Now I hardly go around advocating suicide (unless one's last name is Clinton or Obama), but THIS GUY sure had a certain flair.

Off yourself and screw the LBFM left behind at the same time... seems like a decent revenge if that's your thing. Not that there's anything WRONG with that...

The news article should have at least had pics of the car afterwards... sick, I mean CURIOUS, folks like me wanna see these things.

If You Know Of Any Veterans of the Iraq/Afghan Theaters:

http://www.chiropractic.org/index.php?p=news/ica_returning_vets

They can get some free services. I like this idea, I find it amusing that this organization got red tape and the run-around from "official channels".

And these are services that are provided by volunteers, instead of some govt bureaucrat putting a gun to someone's head.

Very nice of them. (Even if the cynical side of me says it's just to drive up business...)

There's A Lot Not To Like About Mexico...

... but apparently FEMA's their bitch:

http://fredoneverything.net/FOE_Frame_Column.htm

Good For Texas

From LRC. Texas is set to put to sleep one murdering Wetback, despite the Feds, the UN and other pussified bastards all opposing them doing so.

I sincerely hope the scumbag repents and then is put down like the mad dog he is. I personally oppose the death penalty, but not for practical reasons. I think the DP is perfectly appropriate in some cases (like this one), but I simply do not trust any state to enact their justice in anything resembling a competent manner. Too many DA, cops and judges are foul bastards that will lie, cheat and steal to get their way.

(See HERE and HERE)

For an especially egregious example of how the bastards lie, click HERE. I must warn you that this is a truly foul example of just how low our foul military "justice" will sink in CYA situations. I actually was stunned to read this and laughed out loud at the extreme absurdity of it all (the 2nd to last paragraph to be specific). Everyone involved in this crime and its cover-up deserves to burn in Hell.

The sickest part is that for someone to try and pull of a cover-up THAT sickening means that they most likely have practice and have pulled off something similar in the past. Let that sink in for a moment.

And make sure you tell any female thinking about the military that she's an fool. Something like that takes a LOT of folks to be "in on it". It stinks on ice and has to involve some major brass to go so far. Send her that article and make sure it sinks in. It might save her life.

Road Trip!