Can You Volunteer To Live In A Bubble?

Nature fucking hates us.

No joke.

and...

Seriously.

UPDATE: And friggin' cougars in Illinois. Probably in Indiana soon enough...

"You Have About 8 Inches There."

I could not keep a smirk off my face upon hearing that today.

"It's not quite long enough."

First time I've heard that...

You might be thinking "What was I doing?"

Just trying to donate my hair to Locks of Love.

But I need two more inches before I can donate it. I might just buzz it off now. I dunno. It's a pain to maintain.

The Force Was Strong With That One...

Let us all bow our heads in respect... the greatest actress to ever grace the works of Star Wars has passed. It is truly a sad day for fans of Star Wars everywhere.

RIP.

EDIT: Oh my goodness... there's a Wiki for Star Wars called WOOKIEPEDIA!

My Tummy Hurts...

...from eating way too much.

I went to a French joint a few weeks ago. It's called something like "Pattitchu" and it's up at Clay Terrace. Chatting with one of the managers, I mentioned Italian and he said we have to go to "Mama Carolla's" in Broad Ripple. He raved about it.

So... first visit tonight. There was no wait just before 6PM on a Saturday, though it was filling up pretty quickly. Great service and the food came pretty quickly. The decor is interesting and homey. I think it would be nice to eat outside out back or on the side, but my companion dislikes eating outdoors.

The cheesy garlic bread was great. The salad was just okay.

The entree was simply wonderful. It was Berjoul (?spelling), one of the two specials tonight. Marinated flank steak wrapped around a hard-boiled egg and sausage, then slow cooked in red wine. Then served on fettucine with a thick red sauce. Amazing. Fork tender and savory. I was starving when I came in and quickly got stuffed. But even after being stuffed, I simply did not want to stop eating this dish. I didn't take long after getting home a few hours later before reheating it and scarfing it down.

For desert we had the canolli, which was just okay. The crust was too thick and cookie-like and the filling wasn't cheesy enough. Oh well.

I've had really good Italian here in Indy, but Mama's takes 1st place, easy. I will surely be going back.

What's YOUR Record?

For how long it takes you to get a joke?

Until today, mine was something like 7 years. That joke was told to me by one Vicki Trent in junior high:

"Why are Life Savers better than men?"
"Cuz they come in five different flavours."

Today, I saw a posting about a certain recurring location from the Police Academy movies.

And I JUST GOT IT. When I saw the first one, at was either 84 or 85. Fourteen years to get a joke.

Someone shoot me now...

EDIT: And yeah, I know. I can't do math either...

Mmmmm... Bacon Flavoured Vaginal Juice... (droooooooool)

http://www.baconsaltblog.com/2009/04/the-jokes-on-us.html
http://www.baconsaltblog.com/2009/04/our-newest-product.html

I guess you CAN make this stuff up... These guys are talking about making a bacon flavoured sex lube!


So I guess it'll taste like bacon instead of chicken or fish. (bada-BING!)

They haven't really made it yet, they just posted it as a joke and it's sort of taking off from there.

Choice quotes from emails sent to these loonies:
"If you could add some cheese to this somehow...."
and the "OH NO!" moment: "Has ‘squeal like a pig’ ever seemed more appropriate?”

What a world. And yet I'm sitting here thinking it's not a bad idea! I mean, what DOESN'T taste better adding bacon to it?

They also have lip balm in addition to their standard Bacon Salt and Baconaisse! I think a mail order is in order soon...

Aside:
A long time ago, I heard this joke on the Bob & Tom show. A comedian said he was now bisexual. If he wanted sex, he'd have to buy it! I love that joke and have said it myself more than once. It never fails to freak people out big time.

Now, from that link, we get the new-to-me-word "trysexuals (the ones who will try anything)". I truly shudder to think of the possibilities.

Another aside: I tried to make a new blog label titled "Bacon" but Blogger automatically tried to insert "Kevin Bacon is so Cool" in there instead. I'm leaving that blog title in there simply because Kevin Bacon IS SO COOL. (Luv you, Jeffifer!)

These guys are so cool/goofy/insane they even posted a link to a video slamming them!



3rd Aside: I love how the bottle is shaped like Astroglide's. There's a joke in there somewhere, but it's eluding me.

Semi-Sick SUCKS!

Give me the old regular flu. You know, the slimy diarrhea and puking for 3 days, wanna die but mostly sleep kind of illness.

I can deal with that just fine. At least it devastates you and goes away. This low-grade feel like crap, ears plugged up and dizzying, dry heaves garbage is just plain annoying. And it is only slowly getting worse. So my weekend is almost certainly shot.

Oh well.

Prayers are appreciated. Panera Chicken soup deliveries are too.

PRE-PAID Asian hookers bearing gifts of Makers Mark for Hot Toddies would be even more so. :D

Actual Wit At Work Makes The Day Go Faster

A question was asked about something with which I'm not familiar.

So I queried"What makes you think I know that?"

Glenda: "You LOOK smart. Either that or my eyesight's going."

She's a trippy lady.

Actual USEFUL Stem Cell Research!

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/health/article5993187.ece

And on a semi-related note (okay, it's a stretch...) :
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D9737SJ00&show_article=1

I have to admit that's a bright side of a recession/depression/whatever. The more chicks going into the stripping industry, the more competition for those jobs. Hopefully, that means WAY hotter strippers. And isn't that what we all want anyway?

At LEAST It's Shorter Than The Star Wars XMas Special Dance Sequence

He really puts the "Shat" in "Shatner", don't he?

The Onion Rocks...

Experts Agree Giant, Razor-Clawed Bioengineered Crabs Pose No Threat

Obama The FASCIST! How Lovely.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123879833094588163.html

Or is it Communist? Or is it some "third way" dictator asshole? I can't decide on the proper label.

But whatever particular moniker you feel like applying to the HNIC, it ain't good. Please, someone defend this to me and use tiny words so my tiny religiousisus mind can comprehend what genius this apparent bullshit actually is.

UPDATE: You know, the Magic Negro actually had a great idea that he promised would come to fruition. Namely, the posting of all new legislation for five days on the net before he would sign it. Has that happened yet on a single thing he's signed off on?

I somehow doubt it will. "Emergency circumstances" will prevent it in every meaningful (read: fucking the public) case.

Oh, and I'm sure it won't apply to treaties either. You know, like THIS ONE:
http://www.lewrockwell.com/blog/lewrw/archives/026192.html

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