DEEP Thoughts....

So if she swallows, does that make her half-cannibal?

Cum Right Up, Skanks... er, Ladies!

(Hat tip to Vox, referring to this Maurron Dowd piece.)

I love it. Love that these pigs did it, that they embraced it and that they were revealed.

This shows EXACTLY the legacy of "female sexual empowerment" with zero pretense.


These girls are cum dumpsters to these males. Nothing more.

At least these predators aren't deluding themselves.

I wish every woman would read this and realize this is what she most likely is to every player out there. Points on a sheet. Notches on the bedpost.

Not a cherished, special soulmate. Not an empowered, sexually-charged woman. A wet hole to be used to jerk off into.

These girls were targeted to be as used as the (maybe) condoms these jerks would wear.

Welcum to your skank future, ladies. It's exactly what you and your mothers asked for.

What a STUPID Contest!

http://web.orange.co.uk/article/quirkies/Mall_slammed_over_bra_contest

Every guy worth his salt knows you remove the bra one-handed from the broad's FRONT! Sure you could re-train yourself to do it from the back but why bother?

Hmmm... 8 bras in one minute... that's 7.5 seconds per. That would be tough, especially if they're not all the same model and you have to move from one to the next.

Honestly, I doubt I'd get them all. I'd probably get at least 6 though.

When Will I LEARN?

Just trust me... if you put any single word together with "Porn", you will get search engine results.

And no matter how funny you think those results will be... they're not. They're just really not.

No, you really don't want to know. And I'm so ready to hork right now.

(BTW: The "stupid person" in my post label is me.)

UPDATE: Okay, the word I used in conjunction with "Porn" was "amputee". I don't know WHY I thought it would be so funny. And man... it just wasn't.

Amusing yet slightly arousing...

http://thesnuggiesutra.com/

and I wasn't going to link to this, simply because I was disturbed by one reply. But after reading "Jerry Mathers", I have to:

Nicknames for women's... err... parts.

Hey! Justin's made the list! Way to go, buddy!

First Boner-Inducing Hybrid?

http://www.tgdaily.com/games-and-entertainment-features/48640-porsche-launches-spyder-hybrid-concept-car

Wow.......... Wow...........

Fake cherry popping?

"Conservative Egyptian lawmakers have called for a ban on imports of a Chinese-made kit meant to help women fake their virginity and one scholar has even called for the "exile" of anyone who imports or uses it".

How fucked up is this? Fake cherry popping? What's next? Fake boobs?

My favorite part is this:
"Gigimo's Web site provides stilted instructions in English for the first-time user of the fake hymen."

FIRST TIME USERS? How many times is the bitch gonna use it?

Actually, I completely agree with the Eygptians opposing this item. It can pretty much only be used for fraudulent activities. Its novelty uses are pretty limited.

I Just Don't Believe Anyone Really Does These Things

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Spiderman

And the villainous turn-around...
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=green+goblin

Mmmmm... Bacon Flavoured Vaginal Juice... (droooooooool)

http://www.baconsaltblog.com/2009/04/the-jokes-on-us.html
http://www.baconsaltblog.com/2009/04/our-newest-product.html

I guess you CAN make this stuff up... These guys are talking about making a bacon flavoured sex lube!


So I guess it'll taste like bacon instead of chicken or fish. (bada-BING!)

They haven't really made it yet, they just posted it as a joke and it's sort of taking off from there.

Choice quotes from emails sent to these loonies:
"If you could add some cheese to this somehow...."
and the "OH NO!" moment: "Has ‘squeal like a pig’ ever seemed more appropriate?”

What a world. And yet I'm sitting here thinking it's not a bad idea! I mean, what DOESN'T taste better adding bacon to it?

They also have lip balm in addition to their standard Bacon Salt and Baconaisse! I think a mail order is in order soon...

Aside:
A long time ago, I heard this joke on the Bob & Tom show. A comedian said he was now bisexual. If he wanted sex, he'd have to buy it! I love that joke and have said it myself more than once. It never fails to freak people out big time.

Now, from that link, we get the new-to-me-word "trysexuals (the ones who will try anything)". I truly shudder to think of the possibilities.

Another aside: I tried to make a new blog label titled "Bacon" but Blogger automatically tried to insert "Kevin Bacon is so Cool" in there instead. I'm leaving that blog title in there simply because Kevin Bacon IS SO COOL. (Luv you, Jeffifer!)

These guys are so cool/goofy/insane they even posted a link to a video slamming them!



3rd Aside: I love how the bottle is shaped like Astroglide's. There's a joke in there somewhere, but it's eluding me.

Sexting?

http://plancksconstant.org/blog1/2008/11/teens_can_have_sex_just_not_take_photos_of_it.html


This guy about sums up my thoughts on the subject. It is a timely topic, albeit an insane one.

Of course this changes my ideas on some things. Like if I legally marry a 16 year old girl with her parents' consent, I can go to jail for videotaping the cherry-popping?

In what kind of sick fucking barbaric world do I find myself?

Not that I would ever DO that, mind you. That would be just wrong. It would totally go against all my strongly-held beliefs.

Especially the one that would have me playing Winger's "I'm Only Seventeeeeeeen" song in the background during said wedding night.

God Bless Mammary Glands...

NSFW!

Not good for the pure of heart or mind, either.

But if you're a sex-crazy, down and dirty gutter rat, this is YOUR song!

(Hat tip to Shane. He's not wrong. For once.)

I Bet Wonder Woman Has AT LEAST Half Of These:

TOP 10 SEX TOYS

#1. It's nice to have items dedicated to the purpose.
#2. A MUST for any husband to use on his wife. A little too soft for my tastes, though.
#3. Where's the necklace? (Actually, I'm just not understanding this one.)
#4. HOT! I like that idea too.
#5. Again: HOT!
#6. Colour me Monet.
#7. Ehhh... I bet I already have better on my PC.
#8. Silly but I'd go along with it.
#9. I LIKE that idea. Many interesting possibilites.
#10. Ditto #9, though maybe in a different shape.

I found this link reading this article on how sun exposure by pregnant mothers helps babies be more healthy. (No sunscreen! Sunscreen will KILL YOU!)

I Really Need To Get Laid...

UPDATE: Nothing to add, I just really like this pic.

So I was looking for a picture for Wonder Woman and I happen across THIS one instead. I like it way too much. I think it's the arch in the back thing.

You know what I mean...

Ohhhhhh yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... that's what daddy likes...

Why Aren't There Belly-Dancing Strip Clubs?

The thought occurred to me and it's a great idea!

The strippers could come out in veils and do some REAL dancing, not the half-assed crap most strippers do. Then they get naked. Fast or slow, mix it up! Variety and all.

Just a thought. I like belly dancers. They're fucking HAWWWWWWWT!

I'd buy THAT for a dollar!

At the very least, PT's could do monthly "Belly Dancer Nights". They really need to throw me a bone here. Then I can throw a bone... eh, forget it.

Hey... Great Shot!

Wow (link).

"the 'G-shot', also known as the 'orgasm jab' - an £800 non-surgical treatment that enhances a woman's sexual experience by boosting the G-spot, the ultra-sensitive area of tissue that can hold the key to happy love-making.

Rather like lip-plumping jabs, the treatment involves injecting collagen straight into the G-spot.

This not only enhances its sensitivity, but increases the width of the area to the size of a 10 pence piece.

It also raises the G-spot a quarter of an inch in height, making it much easier to find."

Generally, I'm not an advocate of having things done to the human body unless they need to be done. I think doctors are as trustworthy as car mechanics. Which is to say, not very.

But this procedure intrigues. And if it gets the guys out of foreplay that much faster, it's got to be worth the expense, right?

Pretty Young-Looking For My Age...

And I taught Newton everything he knows. Who do you think hit him in the head with that apple? Guy needed a jumpstart!

Too bad I forgot most of my native German language in my centuries abroad.

MY Wiki entry.

But they left out my being Cassanova's wingman and mentor! Hello! Before me, he was all about the missionary. The Floating Pumpkin? The Turkish Flipped Wheelbarrow? The Flaming Bunghole Reamer? My goodness, Wikipedia just leaves out so much! He would have NEVER bagged that nun without my help! NEVER!

Accounts of my death, however... eh, you know the rest.

(Tip o' de hat ta Shanus!)

Remind Me To Get Those Penis Barbells...

Just for WW (and more importantly, for her husband...)

CLICK HERE.

This is going to be another of my marriage rules.

1: Dresses or skirts only, with no panties
2: Get to lifting up to 10lbs with her hoochie.

These are non-negotiable. Of course, I'm already a MC (Master Cocksman, duh... what guy ISN'T?).

I also need to get a job where I get to help women figure out it they have a G-SPOT or not.

But I need to have the right to refuse to examine some women. I mean, really... think how many fouls crotches there must be out there.

Am I Wrong?

For wanting to do Marilyn Monroe? I mean, I know she's dead and all. (That would be one serious dry hump!)

But still. There's something there that just makes you wanna clone and ravish her for hours on end.

I think I need help.

Look I'm Really Sorry For What You're About To Read...

NOT!!!!

I take NO responsibility for what happens if you read this...

I do not endorse doing anything listed in the below link because:

1 - It's gross. Really gross.
2 - It contains things that could be - in some lights - be seen as being degrading to women. (I can hear someone screaming it now: "COULD? Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot!")

Although:

3 - It's fucking hilarious. I almost puked reading it just now.
4 - It's TOTAL guy humour. Most females would be pissed off to read it, I would guess. (So Rachal: It's right up your alley!)

So if you still intend to read it, wait til a few hours after you've eaten and click
HERE.

An Intellectual Examination of Strippers!

Any excuse to read about strippers, I guess. Even though it pertains to economics. Very odd article HERE.