Two Sexy Things.... UPDATED

Aria Giovanni as Princess Leia. Sex and Star Wars. That's hot.

And her pie. OOPS! I mean MY pie.

I got the recipe from Chef John at Foodwishes.com. (Link HERE.)

I used the same Pillsbury Crust Chef John did since it worked just fine for pumpkin pies for Turkey Day. The lattice top is definitely not up to anyone's standards but it's not really that hard. I just didn't have a clean flat surface to slice the top crust so I used a plate and it made cutting the crust evenly problematic to say the least. And I was in a hurry and this was an experiment anyway.

The weird thing is the apparent YELLOW apple skin pieces (I left the peels on.) I didn't use any yellow apples. Either the green Granny Smiths or the red Galas became discolored. (I mixed apple types just for fun.)

Haven't tried it yet since it is sosta cool completely before serving. But I have whipping cream for topping it. Can't wait to pig out tomorrow night.

UPDATE: If you like apple pie, try this recipe. My whipping cream tasted awful so I'm not using it anymore. But the pie itself is just delicioso all by itself.

Despite what the video says, I bet it would be really great warm with a rich vanilla ice cream. And get REAL ice cream, for goodness' sake. No fat free. No sugar free. No yogurt crappola.

Life's to short NOT to treat yourself once in a while.

Mmmmmmmmmmm .... Garlic ...

I don't remember how, but I ended up finding one of this guy's YouTube videos. He's whacky and fun but the videos and his blog go far in showing what's needed to make yummy stuff.

http://foodwishes.blogspot.com/

So after drooling and thinking about how good this particular one probably was, the other day I made this garlic aioli stuff.



The aioli came together really easily, much easier than I had expected. If you read on sauces, folks whine about breaking sauces really easily. But this method worked perfectly.

I put about half the aioli on toasted french bread and it was heavenly. If you go to the supermarket, you often see pre-garliced bread. That stuff is crap. THIS is the real deal. I imagine it might be even better if you smeared it on the bread and then baked it. But I didn't think of that until just now.

After scarfing down the bread, I had about half the aioli left. So I started dipping my garden's cherry and grape tomatoes into it. More bliss.

The next night I finished the aioli off with more toasted bread.

The only thing I think that would have improved it was a little Kosher salt (which I added) and fresh lemon juice instead of the bottled stuff I had on hand.

So today I put together this:



Smelling it after pureeing, I can only say the Anchormanesque "Pungent!" came to mind.

But now I'm letting it soak in the garlic goodness overnight. So I need to find something else to eat tonight besides a salad.

Anyway, if you like garlic then you should try the aioli. It really is as easy as the video appears and it's very, very yummy.

He Belew Me Away!

Adrian Belew that is. (www.adrianbelew.net)

I saw this show on the Radio Radio newsletter and thought "Cool." But I wasn't sure on going since I was completely unfamiliar with the guy's solo work and only slightly better acquainted with his King Crimson stuff.

But I took a chance and trekked down to Fountain Square, despite being really tired before even getting into the shower.

I took Mr. John Peddie's advice and stopped at Smokehouse on Shelby where they gave me way too much food to eat in one sitting. Great BBQ for a great price. My waitress suggested the pulled pork dinner platter over the beef brisket.The pork was juicy and wonderful. The sweet BBQ sauce was good and tangy. The baked beans had a surprisingly deep flavor. My plate could easily have fed two adults with room for desert. I happily stuffed myself almost sick since, being on the Ninja, a doggie bag wasn't feasible. Though I really hated looking at how much I left behind. I despise wasting food, especially when I done paid for it!

So I walked around the corner to Radio Radio, bought a ticket and a Killians Red. The show seemed to take forever to start and the opening act was a bit on the silly side. The guy played goofy covers on mandolin, then a custom fretless sitar then a dobro. It was extremely well-executed and you could tell the guy can really wail on his instruments. And that fretless sitar thing sounded awesome. But the guy's song choices made me say "HUH?" As good as he played, I suspect he could have written some seriously good originals. Eh, whatever.

Adrian and the Slick siblings (Eric on drums and Julie on bass) took the stage well after 10pm and proceeded to kick major booty. Adrian's fluid screaming guitar, Eric playing thunderously on a small but massive-sounding FOUR piece kit and Julie sounding grooving and slinky on that bass. They do a sort of jammy funky progressive rock thing. I can't wait to order their live CD. Hopefully it's recorded well and I get a better presentation.

Radio Radio is a pretty lame venue cuz if you ain't in the front row you're pretty much not seeing anything. And that's a good part of the fun with a band that is that proficient. The sound was sub-par too. Julie's bass was way too low in the mix and the highs were too shrill.

But despite the sub-par presentation of the band I still had a lot of fun and, from what little I saw, it was obvious the AB Trio was enjoying themselves too. I bought a t-shirt and got the band to sign it and said hi and stuff.

It was great to see a packed house for this sort of obscure artist. Indianapolis needs more nights like that if we're to attract better artists in the smaller venues.

Anyway, if you like King Crimson or good fusion type music, check the linked site for more dates. I think you'll enjoy yourself.

"If You're Gonna Spew... Spew Into This."

From an email I got at work the other day:

"Subject: China King 38th & Post Rd
How to begin.

A person from IPAC went there last evening to get a to go order.

While waiting for someone to assist her, she witnessed a cook SPIT into a pot on the cooker.

She changed her mind about eating and was leaving when the girl behind the counter showed up and asked to take her order.

She said she had changed her mind since she saw the man SPIT into the pot on the stove.

The waitress said they did not know anyone was here.

This person has called the State Board of Health and reported it today."

(Red emphasis mine.)

I love this planet. I have a riding buddy that went to the same place one night. He watched the cook blow his nose, wipe it clean and then go right back to making his food without washing his hands.

Someone else from work said they watched their delivery guy drop a bag of food onto the sidewalk, scoop up the entree off the ground and put it back into the container. So this person waited for the customer to pick up the order and told them what they'd witnessed.

I'm only posting this because I know there are restaurant horror stories everywhere (Dave at BK) but this one really amuses me because they seem to have a long history of this stuff and the response is just classic. "Well, you weren't supposed to SEE that." Me? I would prefer to hear "Ahhh, so. Et too hep yoo bild immunitee!"

I haven't eaten their food for years because it literally makes me puke after an hour instead of just hungry like normal folks. I think it might be shrimp allergy / cross-contamination.

That or they're taking the poo-poo platters a little too literally.

My Tummy Hurts...

...from eating way too much.

I went to a French joint a few weeks ago. It's called something like "Pattitchu" and it's up at Clay Terrace. Chatting with one of the managers, I mentioned Italian and he said we have to go to "Mama Carolla's" in Broad Ripple. He raved about it.

So... first visit tonight. There was no wait just before 6PM on a Saturday, though it was filling up pretty quickly. Great service and the food came pretty quickly. The decor is interesting and homey. I think it would be nice to eat outside out back or on the side, but my companion dislikes eating outdoors.

The cheesy garlic bread was great. The salad was just okay.

The entree was simply wonderful. It was Berjoul (?spelling), one of the two specials tonight. Marinated flank steak wrapped around a hard-boiled egg and sausage, then slow cooked in red wine. Then served on fettucine with a thick red sauce. Amazing. Fork tender and savory. I was starving when I came in and quickly got stuffed. But even after being stuffed, I simply did not want to stop eating this dish. I didn't take long after getting home a few hours later before reheating it and scarfing it down.

For desert we had the canolli, which was just okay. The crust was too thick and cookie-like and the filling wasn't cheesy enough. Oh well.

I've had really good Italian here in Indy, but Mama's takes 1st place, easy. I will surely be going back.

How Odd I Is

Isn't it interesting the ways you realize you've been naive about something your entire life? It has never occurred to me that eateries would intentionally spew out yummy smells into the breeze to stir up business. I read something on the net this weekend about BBQ joints doing that. It was a completely novel idea to me.

And it makes perfect sense.

I'm not complaining (for once!), just noticing.

Yummo....

This thing rocked. Not as decadent as Shane's bacon roll HERE, but mighty tasty!

I don't remember where I got the idea for this, but I made some stuffed peppers the other night and the cheese oozed off of the peppers and melted onto the broiler pan. But I ate the spilloff and really loved it. So... what do you do with leftover cheese?

Me, I preheated my oven at 350, then spread out some California Olive Oil (from Trader Joe's, VERY tasty stuff BTW) on my nonstick cookie sheet. Then I spread out some Quattro Formaggio cheese (a mix of Parmasean, Asiago, Fontina & Mild Provolne) in as thin a layer as possible.
Then I turned on the light in the oven and watched the bubbly fun. I kept it at 350, but I got impatient and turned it up to 400.

I let the edges brown up, then waited til the rest browned up too. I kept it a little less cooked in the middle simply because I didn't want the edges to burn.

The "Cheese Crunchy" easily came up in one piece. The edges were crunchy, the middle was wonderfully chewy.

I crumbled the edges into my salad. I just ate the middle, savoring the cheesy goodness.

Next time I think I will put a light layer of black and white pepper on the top. But that might ruin the subtleties of the cheesiness. So I might just leave it be.

Easy and delicious. Just like how I like my womens. :p

I Cannot Decide...

Yes OR No?

One Fowl Post

How to serve chicken wings to a man:

Now We Get FRANKEN-BEER!

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,443798,00.html

What the fuck is wrong with people?

They really need to leave all of our foods alone. Especially beer. (Why "especially beer"? Eh. No real reason, just cuz I say so.)

Heck, if I knew which beers were only beer-conditioned instead of pasteurized or cold-filtered, I’d only buy those. (I love the Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.)

How long did we hear how much healthier margarine was than real butter?

How many drugs recalled after being hailed as “live savers”?

How many wild game animals have near-zero cholesterol compared to the hormone-and-antibiotics-injected caged beasts grown by Tyson and its ilk?

These guys ain’t nearly as smart as they like to make us think. And God put some amazing stuff on our planet already. All-natural, un-tampered-with real food.

I don’t care that I have to pay another 50% for real food as opposed to mass-produced tasteless crap. It’s usually more filling anyway so you don’t have to eat nearly as much.

Two Reasons To Love Food Network

It gets better towards the end.

"Fruit is the best desert." Yeah, I have a hankering for melons myself.

I actually like her show and her recipes. But I must admit that those reasons are really distracting. Ever since I noticed how much those reasons are used, I have had a lot of trouble watching the actual COOKING.

Reminds me of how I felt when I realized Hooters uses the orange bottoms to MAKE me stare at the waitresses' asses. Just... used and dirty. But in a good way.

Road Trip!

Fuck Soy!

It increases your estrogen production. Which I doubt is all that good for anyone except maybe post-menopausal women.

Now they find it causes... what was it again... OH YEAH! Memory Loss! And dementia!

Do not eat this crap. It's fake food disguised as something healthy. Like margarine. Another "healthy alternative" that just does little things like give you heart attacks.

I do believe animals will not eat margarine. I wonder if they touch soy?

A Cheesy Drunkard Post...

Well going to the movies didn't work out today. Ended up hanging out with my friend Yolanda (Yokie) and got some Chick-Fil-A.

BTW: what's the only thing better than a Chick-Fil-A sandwich? A FREE Chick-Fil-A sandwich!! I had a coupon for a free one. Man, I love that place...

Anyway...

So we went up to this very cool shop in Carmel called "Vine & Table". It's a pretty big place. Half is a upscale liquor store, the other half is a gourmet shop.

So I was walking about, trying to find something new to try. I was leaning towards buying a nice Armagnac, but those are pricier than my usual Makers Mark. And I'm not sure if I'd like it. In case you don't know, Armagnac is a type of brandy, similar in production to Cognac.

Quick aside: the "brandy" comes "brandy wine" from the literal translation of "burnt wine", referring to the distillation. I read some time ago it comes from the German word "Brandewine", but I just read that the word is actually something like "Weinbrandt" and that the Dutch word is closer to what I thought was the German word and that no one called it that until CHINESE folks were told how it was made and made up the term! So that's three or four completely different etymological origins... who knows what's actually correct?

ANYWAY... I asked one of their salesmen about Scotch. He told me to talk to this gent Denis, a nice Irishman who loves Scotches.

I told Denis that I loved Bookers and that my usual Bourbon whiskey was Maker's Mark. He pulled out this bottle...

It looked fancy and expensive. Denis didn't mention price, and (in retrospect) actually I'm quite glad. He poured a bit and it was vaguely... pink.

Pink. Yup. Pink. At first I was thinking... "Pink". I asked if I was seeing pink and he answered in the affirmative. So I'm thinking "I asked for Scotch and he's giving me... pink."

I picked up the glass and swirled it about to get a good whiff. It was light with just a hint of flowers. I took a sip.

Wow. This was amazing stuff. This whiskey had a floral note to it that was on the tongue just briefly before the whiskey flavour hit. Great soft flavour, very smooth. None of the "peat" taste I'd been told to expect.

Denis told me they aged this stuff for 12 years in used Bourbon barrels, then finished it in French red wine barrels. It didn't seem too potent an alcohol content, but it was very complex and flavourful. Something to bring out for someone you know has a taste for delicate and complex flavours. This is a whiskey for... well, me it turns out.

The stuff is $70 a bottle. But it's something that I'm going to probably pick up and keep on the shelf for a long time. Something to pull out on odd occasions when I want something really different.

Denis and I were yakking on and on about whiskeys and gin. Then I noticed how bored Yokie was, even though she was doing a good job of hiding it. So I decided to wrap things up. But I could have talked to Denis for a few more hours about the minutiae of liquors.

So that was cool. I bought some German digestifs, two Arturo Fuentes cigars (thanks JAC!),
and a bottle of Plymouth gin. (What I should have done is asked if they had the big bottle of Maker's, since that's what I've had a real taste for lately. All they had on the shelf was the normal, smaller one.)

Then we went next door to the gourmet shop.

I've been wanting some good sharp cheddar for a while now. I don't know why, I don't care. So I was trying to find a good cheese. While browsing and finding some other cool items like sweet hot sauce, I watched an older gentleman behind the counter working on a wheel of cheese. This thing was huge. It had "Parmigiano-Reggiano" all over the round edges of the wheel. It looked like the words were made by punching little holes into the smooth outside of the cheese rind.

He was really working to get this thing open, too. First, he garroted the thing. Then he got to the real work. Now, I had never tried the stuff. I see Giada on Everyday Italian use the stuff all the time. And I priced it to see how much it would cost to make my own homemade Alfredo Sauce. It's usually $15/lb when I see it in stores. So I asked him how much a wheel cost. He said "$1200". He said he had 80 lbs in that wheel. That math is just about right.

Yokie said "I've never tried that. Do you have samples?" The old man said "I will if I can get this open!" So we laughed and continued shopping.

Last time I went in there, they had a really good artichoke dip for crackers or veggies for sampling. I saw a similar-looking bowl out this time so I went it for a taste. It was something with a very, very strong sour cream flavour. Sour cream tends to trigger my gag reflex. So while I was wiping off my tongue and eating pretzel chips to get that foul taste off of my palate the cheese guy came over with a napkin in hand.

And on the napkin was... the cheese. Quite a bit too. Yokie started taking the top piece for herself, but the guy said "No, take all of it." So we did.

And I was in CHEESE HEAVEN. As in, this cheese HAS to be in Heaven. It was amazing. It was pretty grainy in texture so it ran over my tongue in an odd but good way. And its tastes were fruity and nutty and just very deep in flavour. How does cheese get fruit and nut tastes? Really, I don't care. I am just really glad that it did.

I can see why folks would pay $15/lb for cheese. I never knew before. Now I do. I still have this wonderful cheese taste lingering in my mouth after at least two hours have gone by. After I ate my second Chick-Fil-A sandwich too.

I can't wait to go back. That store is awesome. Even if it is hugely expensive just to look around. Heck, I somehow bought a pack of $5 chocolate peanut clusters I didn't even see, let alone intend to pay for! I guess I should count my blessings. It could have been a can of caviar.

All in all, I'm glad the movie show times didn't mix with Yokie's evening plans.

More Good Food News

From HERE.

This combined with the Lipton bottled iced teas with real sugar instead of the usual 'high fructose corn syrup' (SCREW YOU, SNAPPLE!) gives me hope for future sodas.

I keep meaning to go to some Wetback grocery stores to find some real Coca-Cola with sugar instead of HFCS.

Viva la Sugar Revolutiono!

"Cuz EVERYTHING Should Taste Like BACON!"

http://www.baconsalt.com/

Freshly-Ground Spices...

make all the difference. Wow. Freshly-ground cinnamon, nutmeg and ginger just flat-out ROCK!!!!

And so do my home-made pumpkin pies. I feel like eating the remaining 3/4 of that pie all by myself right now. Very good stuff.

Screw Prohibition Anyway!

http://thespiritworld.net/2007/02/05/maraschino-cherries/

I was thinking about this yesterday. I found some Makers Mark Bourbon cherries at a gourmet stores. But even these $9.99 per jar cherries have crappy artificial ingredients and the taste is not as good as I'd hoped. There's a fake taste I can't identify that just turns me off. It's not so bad in a cocktail, but eating the cherries out of the jar or after finishing off the drink... it's just not right.

It got me wondering what kind of cherries are used to make maraschino (cocktail) cherries and if I could make my own, better tasting version.

So I found this article on the above link. Of course I found yet more government idiocy messing things up. Yet again. This time, it's a legacy from Prohibition. Asses.

But, to turn this into a positive, I think I'm going to get some dried cherries from Trader Joes and soak them in a simple syrup. Then I'm going to make one batch soaking in a 50% simple syrup / 50% bourbon solution and see how those turn out.

I'll try to remember to post about them here when I taste the results.

If this idea doesn't work, I think I'll blanch or go through the first steps of canning cherries and work from there.

Of course, if anyone has a line on real Maraschino cherries, I'm all ears.

P.S.:
Wonderful commentary, from the link: "I grew up in Oregon where (I am sad to say) the process for creating maraschino cherries was developed. We had several canneries in town and it was amazing to see what the brine did to people’s hands. I won’t go into detail and, yes, the brine is long gone by the time you eat them, but still it was very bad."

I have come to believe that more of those traces of processing go into our bodies than the FDA would like us to believe.

The bottom line: the more natural and less processed, the better.

OOOO: Found myself a recipe HERE.

Thank You Taco Bell!

NOT for the painful gas and cramping from my 2am binge this weekend... NO!

I am thanking Taco Bell for their free taco giveaway promoted during the World Series. They're saying if anyone steals a base, everyone in the country gets a free taco.

I could care less about the taco, but it's inspired some funny shit tonight on the broadcast.

First was the announcers debating if the balk by Rockies pitcher qualifies for anything.

"So do we get something for the balk?"
"No."
"No guacamole? No chips?"
"No."

There seem a bit of panic in the 2nd guy's voice, as though he was desperate to avoid a lawsuit filed by Taco Bell's legal department.

Then the two Boston players talking about the giveaway in the dugout... great stuff.

Why Cokes Suck:

Well, the reasons on this link AND the fact that movie theaters (AHEM! AMC and Great Escape!) like to keep the syrup/carbonated water ration to F'ING LOW!!!

Anyway... go HERE and see how big business uses governments to bend your ass over.

Personally, corn syrup is on my banned list. Along with hydrogenated oils and white sugar. These three ingredients are really hard to avoid. And I won't pretend I'm fully successful. But I do my best to avoid ingesting them.

And my digestive health has vastly improved for it.

EDIT:
"One of the biggest evil influences on our diet is the presence of high-fructose corn syrup (HFCS), a sugar substitute that itself is a sugar found in soft drinks and many other sweet, processed foods. The problem is that HCFS inhibits leptin secretion, so you never get the message that you’re full. And it never shuts off gherin, so, even though you have food in your stomach, you constantly get the message that you’re hungry." (from a previous entry on my blog)

But in the end, I really do think Coke doesn't taste as good as it used to. And it's the government's fault. Rat bastards.