It's Funny Because It's True (Love)

"This is what they call 'true love', apparently. Something I've always felt is indistinguishable from brain damage."

Just happened across this quote. And liked it a lot.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/1924-Shadow-of-the-Colossus

It's Funny Cuz It's True...

That final comment rocks.

One of Your Favorite Shows Is Likely Kissing Obama's Ass

How pathetic. What a bunch of loser suck-ups.

I'm so glad I don't watch anything but Food Network and Shimmy.

Well I Guess Our Asses Are Doomed!

Start watching around 3:10.

70 percent in three or four months.

Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot doesn't even begin to cover my brain's shock.

(betcha no one gets that quote, either)

Words Fail Me...

The really sad part is that it's miles ahead of the new James Bond theme song.

My comment to Justin Rachal after the film: "Alicia Keyes should have her vagina ripped out."

EDIT: I thought that song was the worst Bond theme song ever.

Apparently, my brain mercifully erased Madonna's title song to "Die Another Day" from my memory. Watching the opening of that film just now cruelly reminded me.

Ugh...

So while Miss Keyes still deserves that punishment, I would have to say Madonna deserves the same plus having her tits set on fire.

FORGET NORWAY!!!

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/kenya
Great trumpet playing!!

More goofy madness:
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/badgers
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/bukkake
(See what you started, DJ?)

Dissis Beez Fo' Us Un-Hippednezz Crackas!

Fo' sho' mah nigga!

http://www.urbandictionary.com/daily.php

Izz lookz fo'wa taz regrezzin' mah vocabruaeez an' whatznot.

Exampo:

Short for Wireless High-Five, used when you want to give a friend a high-five, but you are further then arms reach from each other. It doesn't involve any physical contact.

Benj: That $30 burger from Maccas was teh pwnz
Timmy: Wifive!

More Gov't Idiocy!

HERE.

Wow:

Carrillo reportedly said: "I've said it before and I'll say it again. The Border Patrol's job is not to stop illegal immigrants. The Border Patrol's job is not to stop narcotics � or contraband or narcotics � the Border Patrol's mission is not to stop criminals. The Border Patrol's mission is to stop terrorists and terrorist weapons from entering the country."

Can't add much more to that one.

Sure... why not? From HERE:

The Justice Department is co-sponsoring a convention held by the Islamic Society of North America (ISNA) — an unindicted co-conspirator in an ongoing federal terrorist funding case — a move that is raising concerns among the Justice's rank and file.

And some more stupidity. A bunch of wetbacks get picked up by immigration officials doing their job (FOR ONCE) and the whiners show up in no time. From HERE:

"These are working people, these are family people, they are keeping our economy growing. They should not be arrested. What's happening to their children?" said Dan LaBotz, carrying a sign reading "Stop the attack on immigrant families."

and

ICE said those who had been detained would be taken to a processing facility in the Cincinnati area and procedures to remove them from the United States would begin. But it noted that some may be released for humanitarian reasons -- for example, the sole caregiver to children.

Oh, I'm sure wetbacks wouldn't fucking LIE and say "I'm the only person that can take care of my "Shouldn't-Be-A-Citizenry-Wetback-Offspring". Why do I suspect that this is a loophole big enough for Rosie O'Donnell to walk through?

Brain... HURT!

Miss Teen South Carolina Lauren Caitlin Upton, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Oh, and have fun working the pole for a living. I'm sure you'll do quite well and score tons of free coke.



You can participate, but then you'll be stoned to death... so you have THAT going for you.

I Don't Think Anyone Else Wonders These Things...

Hey what do your niece and nephew call you if you're black and your name really IS "Thomas"?

Wetbacks Aren't Illegal! Just Illegal!

Ann Coulter is a pitbull for the 3 Monkey Party. But occasionally she is right on target.

"...illegall alien Alberto Barajas-Enriquez, who is charged with beating his Michigan neighbor to death with a golf club because the neighbor complained about the constant barking of Enriquez's dog. Asked by police how many times he struck his victim with the golf club, Enriquez said, "Let's see ... five, six ... uh, put me down for a seven.""

More wetback fun HERE:

QUOTE: The Supreme Court has found "entry" is done only at "a particular locality" and therefore "hardly suggests continuity."

In other words, if you enter illegally without being caught, being here illegally isn't a crime.

So if I'm carrying a severed head, that hardly suggests "continuity" from the crime of the murder where I severed said head. Right?

Thanks for reminding me to talk about this, Difster.

Oh yeah! That new fence that they're building on the wetback border? Forget it.

This Whiner's Brains Already WENT There, Apparently...

http://cbs4.com/watercooler/watercooler_story_170162504.html

"Someone says it says 'go to hell'. It says go to 11," said Keith referring to a scene in the movie "This Is Spinal Tap".

So far, it's not a good enough explanation for the DMV.

"The question is that reasonably would it offend a number of people?" said Steve Haskins, DMV.

I guess they should have asked, "Would it offend anyone with a working brain?"

I'm Surrounded By Frikiin' Idiots...

at work. I was asked if I would be upset if some of my work was given to another employee.

Being me, I launched into sarcasm mode. I went on quite a bit about how mad I'd be if they did so. I THOUGHT the ridiculous amounts of sarcasm I inflicted upon my bosses was sufficient.

Apparently, it was not sufficiently sufficient to penetrate someone's skull. Which is apparently VERY thick.

I got half of another batch. Where anyone with a working sarcasm detector would have given it all to my backup person.

I'm referring to this episode as "accidental reverse psychology".

I should refer to it as "dimwittery revealed".

Oh REALLY?

Me: I'm about done with the lot of ya [WOMEN]. I'll just reproduce by mitosis or something.


WW: And how much fun would that be, really?

EXACTLY.

We're worth every moment of insanity.

I promise :)

I'm not at all sure about the veracity of WW's claim. Bad enough I have to deal with MY OWN insanity. But someone else's? For THE REST OF MY LIFE?

Man... that's a lot to ask.

Can We Just Kill Her?

I'm referring to THIS dizzy bitch.

"I got knocked up by an Indian (dot, not feather) dude and I'm all white and now we have a brown baby!"

Oh REALLY, genius? Whooda thunk!

What a douche! Can you imagine this vapid tool's kid learning to read and then coming across an article on the net about what a flipping idiot your mom is and how she thinks you look "alien"?

Does anyone even begin to think anymore? If I ever thought this, I'd just keep my mouth shut.

Here's a hint: The kid didn't ask to be born. Especially to such a fucking idiot.

Can we just hang her? Now? Please?

Why Am I So STOOOOOPID????

You ever start doing something, realize that it's very likely going to go badly... and yet stupidly continue?

Yeah. Me too.

I am really hating this planet right now. Check that, hating how stupid and unyielding I am in the face of very plain, VERY contrary facts.

"I could really go for a PowerFuck right now!"

EDIT: To clarify, today I decided to move my PC desk by myself and ended up breaking it. As in, really bad. The screws on the pressboard POS ripped through the top of the desk on both ends. I suppose I can drill some holes and maybe fix it. I just doubt it's going to be worth the trouble to do so.

I wish I had a proper way to protect wood from dust while varnish & poly dried. I'd be much more tempted to build a customized desk myself. I love working with wood.

Serendipity...or not??? (Definitely NOT!)

No... not the movie. The word essentially means "fortuitous accident". Like using a diving rod to find water, but hitting oil instead.

You know, the kind of cool stuff that never happens to me.

Anyway... today I found myself stuck for over a half hour across the street from Kahn's Wines today. Great store. New location, MUCH more space. They've expanded their stock/selection and offer free tastings of lots of spirits! I'm not sure how that works, but I really need to go back soon to find out. Especially since they offer tasting of their expensive bourbons! (I know I like Bookers, but any free bourbon has to be good bourbon, right?

So I bought the 750ML bottle of Sailor Jerry's spiced rum and, and, AND!!!! got a free pack of SJ playing cards to boot!

Nice score, eh? Not really. Just a very, very tiny bit of serendipity glomming onto the sole of my shoe, giving me a scintillating glimpse of hope before drowning into an eddy of despair. (tip o' the hat to Angel Reese!)

So those were my thoughts late last night. Until I woke up today.

I've only had one hangover in my life. It was after a really, really bad New Year's Eve get-together where I'm pretty certain I had some serious alcohol poisoning. If someone had offered to kill me, I'm quite sure I'd have gladly had them do so.

Today was my second. I felt like crap. I didn't even drink that much of my rum. But here I sit, still feeling nasty at 1am the next night.

I'm never drinking again.

I Can't Sleep!

Oh well. I guess I'll go lie down and try...

Mister Bean's Going To Jail!

Okay, THIS is a different Mr. Bean. But still...

"What secret activity went on in the garage of a seemingly friendly, well-liked, balding sixty-year-old Florida man before police surrounded his house and arrested him on two felony charges?

The Palm Beach County sheriff’s department, the man's neighbors, and the man himself – Roger Bean – all agree: the “crime” was making dentures and temporary bridges for grateful customers at a mere fraction of the price dentists charge."

"Mr. Bean calls himself a “denturist.” In some states, you can be a denturist without a dentistry license. But not in Florida. In Florida, at least according to Palm Beach County detective Don Zumpano, if you provide dentures without a license, you're not a dentist, and you're not a “denturist” – you're a felon."

This is the same with nail salons, hair braiding and such. The state wants their cut. And the established industry members want to keep prices higher for their benefit.

If someone doesn't want dentures made in a garage... they won't buy there.

Duh!

The WORST? Not Hardly!

From here.

"From ABC's apple crumble to Oasis' cannonball, a radio station has compiled the top 10 songwriting howlers."

They put "War Pigs" as number 8?

WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT?

"Generals gathered in their masses
Just like witches at black masses"

Someone needs their balls cut off for this song making the list. My favorite anti-war song ever. If those voting had a fucking clue, they'd know the generals are meant to be serving Satan. Duh.

NOT that those two lines are brilliant poetry. But I can think of tons worse than that.

Besides, they forgot the Police's "Don't Stand So Close To Me":

"It's no use
he sees her
he starts to shake and cough
Just like the
old man in
that book by Nabakov"

Which, BTW, is THE WORST SONG LYRIC EVER! It makes me cringe to hear it every damn time. Pretentious and just AWFUL!

And I LIKE that song.

BTW: Best lyric ever: "you wear those skin-tight dresses with your g-string
tuned to A". From Whitesnake, "Kitten's Got Claws" from the "Slip of the Tongue" (The very first CD I ever bought).