He's a FUNNY God.

Last week, I was trying to get inside my house. My deadbolt lock on my side door was sticking. Now I have a front door, but there's a chair in the way of it opening very far so it's a pain to open and get through.

So there I was, jiggling the lock and trying to open it. It wasn't budging. I broke a key off in the lock a few years back so I'm very wary of trying to force locks.

Jiggled the key, shook the doorknob. Nada.

I rolled my eyes skyward and asked Him something flippant like "Can I get a little help here?" (I am a little bashful in admitting my prayers aren't nearly as formal as I would like.)

The very next TINY twist of my wrist opened the door.

Too funny. I think I laughed out loud too.

I thanked Him and went to get my toolkit to disassemble the lock and lube it good with graphite. Now it works great. (And it occurs to me I need to do the front door too.)

Coincidence? Luck? Maybe. But it's awfully strange to me that it didn't happen with all my efforts, even after I got a little frustrated.

I asked Him for help and I believe He helped me out, even in such a small thing.

He's a kindly God. Even to those of us that are far less than perfect in our observances.

See? Prayer Works.

http://www.aolhealth.com/health/feature/_a/i-was-the-supersonic-survivor/20090923160509990001

God be praised.

Nice Work, Satan!

I was talking to this ditz someone some years back. As was (is) often the case, there was downtime at my federal job and we were yakking for a while and the topic of money troubles came up.

She told me: "Go to church. God gave me lots of money." My immediate thought was that was rather obnoxious. Treating God like an ATM? I wasn't even a believer, but I was actually offended. (Fake seeming believers that can't think through their own beliefs have always annoyed me.)

This was a person that cut corners at everything on her job and seemed to be a crooked individual. Maybe sleazy is a better term. I got the sense that nothing was beneath her if it was to her advantage. Just a feeling, but when you have a number of folks saying someone's sleeping her way to the top you begin to wonder. Especially when she's as dumb as a box of rocks, constantly demonstrates her incompetence and rises so quickly.

She's since been divorced. And the last time I talked to her, she seemed to be the same way.

Just now, a post over at Vox' blog mentioned how things are likely to get worse for new Christians. I can attest to that, but I also wonder if deluded and/or superficial wanna-be Christians might not actually BE rewarded with earthly treasures.

By Satan.

As a means of duping the rubes into thinking "God gave us prosperity" and easing their way into Hell.

Just wondering out loud. That would be a very slick way to scam souls.

I guess I'm reflecting on that because I honestly feel that this world rewards greedy and stupid behavior (leaving the religious part out of the equation momentarily). And I sure seem to have had an easier time with it when I wasn't trying to be as responsible. Or a Christian.

Faith? Hope? Love?

Watching Shawshank Redemption just now... for some reason, it made me think of this song:

We see it on TV, we get calls on the phone
By the prophets of doom, they won't leave us alone.
The planet is dying and there's no time to spare.
They spend all our days sowing seeds of despair.
We get enough bad news to harden our hearts.
This fear that we feed on is what's keeping us apart.
To say that we're doomed is just an obvious remark.
And it don't make you right, it just keeps you in the dark.

I don't want to live angry, I don't want to live scared.
I don't need no more prophets crying "brother beware."
Just put some work in my hands and give me a dollar to spare.
And don't let me sow those seeds of despair.

Well, this earth is a graveyard, it will swallow our bones.
It was here long before us, It will be here when we're gone.
And it's a vain generation that looks for a sign.
Don't you think we could make better use of our time.
Yeah, the air could be cleaner and the water could too.
But what we do to each other are the worst things that we do.
And we can treasure our freedom behind our locked doors.
But God speed the day when we're lonely no more.

I don't want to live angry, I don't want to live scared.
I don't need no more prophets crying "brother beware."
Just put some work in my hands and give me a dollar to spare.
And don't let me sow those seeds of despair --- John Mellencamp, "Another Sunny Day 12/25"

I love this song. Probably his best.

I just wish I could manage more than the first of the three words in this blog title. This world is awfully good at beating us down, ain't it?

"Hope is a good thing. Maybe the best of things." - Andy Dufrane, Shawshank

Hard-hitting words.

I hope I can live out my life without the confrontation I fear is coming all too soon. I don't want to choose between living free and dying. I most of all hope I never have to pointedly face down the conflict between defending my life and living out what I believe my faith calls me to do. I have the deepest fear I am going to choose earthly justice and disappoint my Savior.

While I'm at it, I hope for a lithe, young, fertile blonde nympho who is Biblically complaint.

Well, heck... it's as likely as my other hopes.

Thanksgiving Thoughts

Steering away from my usual negativity and pissing and moaning like an impotent jerk...

I'd like to give thanks to God for his gift of life and letting me hang around this goofy planet some thirty-something years. I'd like to thank Him for my family and friends.

Some interesting Thanksgiving thoughts:
Some history on the origins of the Holy Day:
http://www.lewrockwell.com/orig5/galles10.html

And why we tend to be LESS thankful in MORE prosperous times
http://www.lewrockwell.com/north/north22.html
(or as I would put it, the Eddie Murphy "RAW" theory of Ritz crackers.)

Okay, NOW I'm Getting Pissed...

Consider a few facts...

A lot of Christians are married. A lot of Christians attend church and say they believe in the Bible and its teachings.

Then WHY! WHY! WHY! Can NO Christian that I've ever met (in person) get marital obligations right? Not a single one!

Ephesians 5: 20 - 33.

It happened again today at work. I was talking to a guy that had this all wrong. He said husbands are required to submit to their wives.

Typically, this comes up in conversations with women. They simply do not know or do not want to live up to their God-ordered responsibilities. I've had one dolt repeatedly tell me I'm wrong despite the fact that I've repeatedly given her the relevant chapters and challenged her to prove me wrong.

Pick whatever version of the Bible you like and read it. Don't think about what some pussy-whipped fool preacher told you to think. Read those very simple words and tell me what they mean.

The simple fact that Christians of varied denominations and both sexes think men are to submit to their wives is more than reason enough to PROVE to me that our preachers are completely falling down on the job when it comes to teaching simple Christian values.

Wives, submit to, obey and respect (or hold in reverence depending on the particular translation) your husbands. It ain't hard to understand.

Yet every single Christian I've talked to gets it 100% wrong!

The simple question I must ask at this point is: What else wrong are our "religious leaders" telling us? And what is the cause? Simple error, misled by greed or outright false prophets?

Please tell me... I'm at a loss.

Blaphemy? It's That Easy To Blaspheme?

Re: Leviticus 10 (King James and New American Standard versions HERE)

Moses' nephews Abihu and Nadab. Killed by God because "they offered unauthorized fire before the LORD". (my NIV Bible)

My comment to a friend regarding this was "God could use some people skills." I was being light-hearted about something that seems awfully harsh for a relatively minor offense.

My friend warned me not to blaspheme. I told her "It's my honest reaction to reading that."

Blasphemy? I'd like some thoughts from the peanut gallery. I'd also like to hear about anyone's perceptions and/or additional information of this verse.

One Doggie Bath Down...

And just as quickly rendered useless.

EMERGENCY VENTING = BEGIN

I took Drake out back and hosed him down. He didn't like that or the lathering up. I could sympathize, it was a bit chilly out and I got plenty wet too. But we got all the way through the rinse cycle with him trying to wrestle away the whole time.

It was some work to get it done, but truth be told... I had fun.

Okay, fine.

Get Drake inside and give him some water and some food. Take him for a quick bathroom walk.

Okay, fine.

Put Drake in kennel and go to Lowes for some wire mesh and some zippy ties to make his too-large kennel smaller.

Gone for less than 40 minutes. Return. Drake has pissed all over the kennel and is sitting in it.

Okay, NOT fine.

I realize this is sort of a rescue dog operation in which I'm participating. He's not been trained and he's some nine months or so old at this point.

But Drake really needs to give me a LITTLE bit of a break here.

Okay, back to fine after a little internal screaming.

Take Drake out, walk him again, clean kennel. Allow kennel to dry while bending the wire fence into shape.

Less than 30 minutes of working on this, Drake pisses right next to me. No whining warning whatsoever.

Yell at dog profusely, he looks chagrined. Take him outside AGAIN.

Pour shot of whiskey.

Getting back to fine, except I am covered in dog hair and urine wash-off and it's thundering something fierce. So I'm a little too hesitant to go take a blazing hot shower. So here I sit on one knee in front of my PC, nekkid. Waiting for the storm to pass so I can wash mahself something fierce. Probably everything, top to bottom. Twice. Maybe thrice, as completely scummy as I feel.

God, grant me forbearance. Lots. ASAP. Please?

(And I think I want kids sometimes?)

*POOF*

And she's gone. A co-worker of mine dropped dead in our office right before I got to work this morning. She had a heart attack right there in her cube and died.

It seems so unreal. She wasn't a friend, but it really does make you think. I'm reflecting on my life and wondering about close calls I've had on my motorcycle and other events that could have easily led to my... departure.

My legacy would be underwhelming, to say the least. And I'm wondering about my afterlife too.

Jesus said many that called out "Lord, Lord!" would not be chosen. And even some of those that cast out demons in HIS name would not be up in Heaven. Makes you wonder if your soul is REALLY ready. If you are truly worthy of His Grace.

Me... I have my doubts. I wish I didn't. My best friend didn't seem to like this line of inquiry tonight one bit. But these questions remain.

But I'm dead tired and emotionally drained. So what do I know, really?

I Wish This Didn't Ring So True...

http://www.lewrockwell.com/vance/vance128.html

I think that we desire war. We want war to be permissible without sacrificing all the values we hold most dear. As a result, we endeavor to manipulate and twist those values and moral principles to accommodate that desire rather than recognize war as the moral offense it is. ~ Robert Brimlow

More thoughts on Christian responses to war and violence. Like I said, I wish this didn't ring true to me. But it does.

More stuff to weigh heavily upon my thoughts, I guess. That pile's getting awfully large.

Pussies For Christ! AMEN!

From HERE.

This girl is a pussy. She thought it would be a great idea to stick her finger in the eye of the liberal douchebag monstrosity that is the public school system. (I tend to agree, it would be great.)

But then the stakes got too high. She KNEW it wasn't going to go over well. That's why she didn't do her intended speech in rehearsals.

Does she have a case? Absolutely. But the fact that she caved in and apologized SUCKS. She should have never apologized. EVER. Her apology smacks of a denial of her faith.

She did nothing wrong. She violated no law.

She should have said "I did nothing wrong. Give me my diploma OR I WILL SUE YOUR DOUCHEBAG LIBERAL ASSES."

Good Reason To Really Check Out Churches...

http://www.lewrockwell.com/orig8/baldwin2.html

Might this kind of SICK nonsense be why Bush wanted the government to get all cozy with the churches?

I wouldn't put it past the bastard wetback lover Jorge Bush. (May he die painfully of untreated appendicitis.)

""In order to convince American citizens to surrender their firearms to the government during a time of martial law, DHS is enlisting the assistance of America's pastors. According to the DHS, my job as a church pastor, is to tell my congregation that, according to Romans 13, they must surrender their firearms when the government asks them to do so."

I do appreciate the writer pointing this BS out, but I must disagree with his idea that Christians somehow owe their loyalty to the Constitution. Simply put: what if it's lawfully amended to include evil ideas? At what point do thinking Christians have the right - hell, THE DUTY!!! - to put it and their foul government aside?

Sheesh... It AIN'T The Crusades, People!

Folks over at Vox's blog like to take hardline stances on some things. I know that I am no Biblical scholar. But reading through the Gospels it would seem to me that Jesus isn't going to be picking on little things here and there.

And due to misinterpretations and mistranslations and bad and/or outright EVIL preachers or elders... JC knows that there is going to be a lot very bad teachings out in our fallen world - be it intentionally or not.

So if I had to guess, he's going to give us a break on the smaller stuff and focus on the bigger (but still VERY hard) stuff... like "Love God with all your heart." Oh and: "These 15... I mean 10! Commandments!"

You know, those little commandments...

Techniques For LISTENING To Jesus?

I just noticed I usually use the term "talk to" instead of "talk with" or "listen to" when referring to my interactions with God and Jesus.

As usually is the case, I seem to be focusing on myself and my problems or prayer requests instead of trying to hear something.

Just talking to Him does help me sort out some thoughts and such. But it seems insufficient and even a little disrespectful in some way I cannot describe.

Even though I believe He's out there, I actively want to deal with my problems myself. I have some advising me to "put it all in God's hands and let him deal with it". First: that seems like a cop-out to me. I feel the heavy-lifting should be MINE since I put myself in this position.

Second: I know some folks have bigger problems than mine that don't work out even with a whole community praying for them. So it seems a little foolish to try and just duck out the hard work of fixing my life.

Ideas or suggestions?

Christian Self Defense?

I'm still hung up on Luke 22:36. Why is the only one that has the stuff about the sword? John, Mark and Matthew don't have it.

I just can't help but wonder if there wasn't just something specific about that exact time that maybe he needed one of his guys to strike w/ a sword in order to heal the servant. You know, maybe for some reason that isn't clear or was omitted from the Gospels because it wasn't something Jesus overtly said, but something he had to do in order to do... something?

It just doesn't seem that Jesus advocates violence even in self-defense. And using that one passage to say we have a duty of self-defense almost seems like the cherry-picking of verses.

I'm not saying that I think we should just let someone wound or kill us. I carry a gun away from work pretty much 24/7. And I know if someone busts into my house, I'm shooting.

This is just really, really bugging me the more I think of it.

I guess I better get finished w/ the New Testament and get on with the Old. Maybe something in there will satisfy me.

Thoughts? Care to instruct me?

EDIT: I guess what I'm feeling is missing is the element of mercy. Wasting the "goblins" (as Kim Du Toit puts it) satisfies the Dirty Harry impulse of justice. I just wonder about the element of mercy that Jesus would most likely want us to display.

The New Testament Seems Short On Practical Advice...

Luke noted a while back:

Thimscool, I must respectfully disagree about trusting one's heart. Look at Jeremiah 17:9-

"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?"

Proverbs 28:26 says: "He who trusts in his own heart is a fool".

Your heart will let you down in those "gray areas". But you are correct that the Holy Spirit will never steer you wrong."

Okay, and just HOW am I to tell the difference between my heart and what the Holy Spirit is telling me?

I'm not quite done with the NT yet, so there might still be something in there that covers it. But I've not come across it yet.

I need some guidance here, cuz my heart's only good for practically insuring that I hurt folks lately.

Demons.

I almost wish there were real demons, flesh and blood, attacking us. At least those you can see, they're REAL. Instead we get the demons in... where? Our hearts? Our souls? Our minds? I wish I knew. Might make them easier to face and fight.

My demons haunt me. Every day. We all have them too, I would guess.

In "Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story", Bruce's dad says something like "If we do not face our demons, we pass them to our children". I think there's a lot of truth there.

I see how my extended family is... how others' families are... a lot of demons. Some really big ones that brutalize whole families. The effects of those are huge, affecting everything in its wake one way or another. Others more subtle and yet so destructive in their own ways.

I worry about passing my demons on to my children. As if somehow if I get all the things fixed in my life, they have a better chance at being the kind of person they want to be. I guess that has to be true to some extent. Sort of like if I'm strong enough to defeat my demons, then they'll see that strength and realize that it's right there and they just have to realize they have it too?

Who knows? I hope so.

I just know I'm really tired of these damn demons weighing me down. I'm praying on it, but I still don't see the path through the woods... yet. Hopefully soon.

I just heard these lyrics: "With love and hope, but mostly faith" - Kings X - "Everywhere I go". And I don't even have too much of that faith stuff. I guess I haven't fully learned to trust Him. It's more than a little hard. I hope he understands.

Silly, Silly Me...

"You have to be the way you want the world to be" -- Mike Keneally

Lyrics are just cutting me to the bone lately. They're just words but they have a way of just reaching into my ribcage and squeezing my heart.

I really like this line. I just put it in my blog description. The type's a little small, but it's there. I hope I remember them more often.

If you have lines that really touch you, please post them with their song title and artist. Ya know, if you're so moved.

A Little Testimony

I sent most of this out on an email tonight, but I thought I'd put some of it up here too.

Vox rocks. He's as smart as a whip and about as merciful to dolts of all sorts. He turned me onto the Austrian School of Economics (www.vonmises.org and Murray Rothbard's books). The Christian aspect of his writing has intrigued me for a few years now. Even though I wasn't a believer, I could appreciate his POV. Mostly because almost every other exposure I had to church or Jesus seemed almost timid. As if they were worried about scaring me off with their conviction (if they had it) instead of conveying the Truth.

My last serious girlfriend was Christian and she did her best to testify to me, but my stubborness and skepticism won out and kept me from attending her church more than once. She wasn't adept at answering my confounding questions and I knew it hurt her to think of me dying without converting first. But I still resisted, even though between Vox and her, I kept having this nagging notion I should look deeper into it.

My life has been more or less stagnant since she dumped me on Valentines Day (!!!) a few years back and I've had a large number of setbacks personally over the 14 or so months. Last September, I made a motorcycle trip from Indianapolis to Boston. On the return trip, I found myself in a hotel room in upstate NY, completely depressed and scared. I started to read the free Bible in the room for some type of comfort, but my anger got the better of me. I ended up yelling at God instead. I'm pretty sure I swore a bit in there too. I got back to Indy and tried to forget that night as best I could.

Until a few weeks ago. The last month has made the previous 13 look fun and easy. Things just plain sucked.

Long story short (too late, I know) I found myself furious at my life and needing help. In the shower on Memorial Day weekend, I felt a weight driving me to my knees. I guess pride drove me to shake it off, even though I still had the nerve to ask God to send someone to help me out.

A little later that evening, I was doing some work on the house with my music cranked. During this one song there's this part where the band just stops. In that less than a second of silence, I heard the phone ringing. It was a very strangely-well-timed phone call from a friend that I've gotten quite close to lately. We talked a lot of things through and I felt much better before hanging up sometime in the AM.

But instead of going to sleep, I got on my knees and knocked on God's door. I asked him to let me to get to know and serve him (somehow). I also prayed for my family and friends, and for Him to help me with my health and sleep problems.

I woke up that morning, before my alarms went off. I felt wide awake and refreshed after just a few hours of sleep. That never happened before, though I had a repeat yesterday morning after asking for sleep help again.

Of course, I haven't attended church in the two Sundays since. And I have a nagging feeling that I'm going to be a really LOUSY Christian. I'm already lamenting all the self-destructive sinning in which I won't be able to indulge. I guess we all fall short of the mark.

But I have torn into the New Testament and am still reading it. (And the Songs of Solomon, at Nate's suggestion. Interesting... erotica in the Bible!) I feel different. I am still very aware of my problems, though they seem less able to provoke despair. I've also noticed that I really can't stand being dishonest - at all - anymore. And I'm more conscious of my quick-to-strike anger and impatience, if not containing them as much as I'd wish.

I just hope I can do something to be worthy of this gift and live a better life.

I found God because of this!

There's no denying it now! I guess it's time to confess my sins...

Proof!