Look I'm Really Sorry For What You're About To Read...

NOT!!!!

I take NO responsibility for what happens if you read this...

I do not endorse doing anything listed in the below link because:

1 - It's gross. Really gross.
2 - It contains things that could be - in some lights - be seen as being degrading to women. (I can hear someone screaming it now: "COULD? Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot!")

Although:

3 - It's fucking hilarious. I almost puked reading it just now.
4 - It's TOTAL guy humour. Most females would be pissed off to read it, I would guess. (So Rachal: It's right up your alley!)

So if you still intend to read it, wait til a few hours after you've eaten and click
HERE.

Three Motorcycle Trips To Ponder

Now these would have to be made after I get my next (and more importantly BIGGER) motorcycle.

But it can't hurt to think about the future.

1) The original Route 66. Chicago to LA. 2448 miles. I'd probably want to do a return trip by going up the Pacific coast to Washington and then a northern route to come back.

2) The entire Mississippi River (admittedly inspired by Alton Brown's "Feasting On Asphalt" show on Food Network) Lake Itasca, Minnesota to the Gulf of Mexico. 2320 miles for the river. That's not the route I'd have to ride, I'd figure closer to 3000 just to be safe.

3) The Appalachian Trail. Georgia to Maine (or Canada, sorta unofficially). Over 2000 miles.

I'm thinking combining the Mississippi River & Appalachian Trail trips would be really cool. Then maybe a return via Canada, eh? A 8000 mile trip or so. With a bigger bike, 700 miles a day wouldn't be out of the question. That's only 10 hours on the bike at 70MPH. Not at all out of the question. Hell, I did almost 500 miles on my 250 Ninja in one day... but then again I do really like to make unexpected stops. Hmmmmm...

I'm Sure The Lawyers Are Already Preparing...

(Wherein I reveal even more of my geek cred...)

So I'm looking at my Oficial X-Box Magazine about "Halo Wars" a cool RTS game. And I notice there are new vehicles in the picture called "Wolverines". I look more closely at a picture (same as THIS ONE).

80's pop culture geeks, does it look familiar? It should. It's the exact same as THIS.

Yup. Bungie's made their "Wolverine" the same as Hasbro's G.I.Joe "Wolverine" vehicle. It came with the chick "Cover Girl".

Weird coincidence there, huh? I really don't think there was ever a "Wolverine" vehicle in the U.S. Army. But I could be wrong.

Halo Wars looks very cool regardless.

I Am So Much The Dorkus Fanboy...

I want!



I need mental help.

THAT's How You Do It!

Just a LITTLE smackdown of an unruly audience member by Joe Rogan.

Kramer should have taken lessons.

Tip of the hat to Vox. Click on Vox's link there, interesting commentary as (almost) always.

More Rogan fun:

Why Little Boys Need To Be Dirty At All Times.

And why bigger boys should be dirty more often. (That reminds me, I have to get going on my garden...)

From HERE.

"Getting dirty may lift your mood
Bacteria found in the soil activated a group of neurons that produce the brain chemical serotonin"

and...

"Dr Chris Lowry, lead author on the paper from Bristol University, said: "These studies help us understand how the body communicates with the brain and why a healthy immune system is important for maintaining mental health. They also leave us wondering if we shouldn�t all be spending more time playing in the dirt."

So get dirty!

Okay, I'm Really Liking This Guy's Thinking

How to Get Away With Murder

A New Age of Consent

It's Not Like I Killed Your Daughter

and finally, WOW. #1 on this lust (typo, leaving it in though I meant to type "list") is impressive.

And I like his view on the recent Don Imus BS making the rounds in the news right now:

"Recently, Don Imus got himself into media trouble when he referred to members of the women’s Rutgers basketball team as “nappy headed hos”, which is very shocking to me because I was under the impression that no one listened to Imus or watched women’s NCAA basketball. Who knew?" (From HERE)

(Reminds me of the time I was in Hooters, watching golf on TV. I said to myself "What could be worse?" Then I asked the waitress to change the channel. She did. To a women's basketball game.

Another quote: Brick: I mean, when did the whole world turn into a bunch of overprotective wimps?
Me: Shortly after the grunge era, I think.
Brick: I hate this fucking country.

I totally sympathize with this POV.

Another quote: "Have you ever known people who had agreeable divorces? These always crack me up. The couple involved doesn’t yell at each other or bicker over petty shit. They still talk to each other in a friendly manner and even deliver each other their respective mail. This always makes me wonder why anyone who could have a pleasant divorce would bother to get one. I mean, if you’ve already found someone who you like leaving, why leave her? I’ll probably never understand that one."

I have to admit this is like my last breakup. My only real objection to her dumping me was her selection of Valentine's Day to sink the knife in. Otherwise, we pretty much still act as we did when we were together except none of the fun stuff.

One more:
Me: This town looks like someone threw up a strip mall.
Kevin: Well, at least you don’t complain about it.
Me: I hate Orlando and everything it stands for. I hope Mickey Mouse gets VD and dies. I mean, of all the towns that get destroyed by hurricanes, why does this place always come out unscathed?
Kevin: Uh, it’s in the middle of the state.
Me: Still, if there was a just god—
Kevin: You’d probably be in jail.
Me: Ouch. That was cold.

"RETROSEXUAL"????

Into what damn Bizarro world have I entered? RETROSEXUAL?? You mean, what. A MAN???

My brain wants to melt in sheer terror in view of the massive stupidity our culture uses to destroy our brains. It has to all be a Communist plot. It has to be.

SEE? Look how retarded that first sentence was in the last paragraph! Proof that IT'S ALL WORKING!!! Or I could just be taking cues from Nate...

I think if I ever heard a guy refer to himself as a Retrosexual, I'd kick him in the balls so hard he'd never have to worry about being a man again just for being so stupid. And it wouldn't matter how big he was because he has to be a complete pussy just for calling himself that in the first place.

I need whiskey. Lots. And I'm out. Vodka is just not even close to a decent substitute.